Maybe I am too young to talk about men but I believe I have seen enough to give my two cents.

When I was young, I was told, as is popular Kikuyu custom, that a boy becomes a man when he is circumcised. Then I used to ask myself, even as that little girl, whether it made sense because there many other people who circumcise babies who are a few days old. Anyway, let me not define who a man is and go straight to what I have studied.

First of all, no one should label this post a description of himself (I am always amazed at how fast someone will think I wrote a post because of him. Of course there is always a catalyst but trust me, it is not you. Moving on…), I am just stating years’ worth of research.

I ceased trying to understand men a while back, when mum told me something scary and I really wondered why she did. I will not deny that a man can make your day; he can also break it as fast. So far, these are the ten men I have encountered:

The Egomaniac – He will say he wants to work to get the approval of a girl but in the end, if I play hard to get, he will give up too soon. Either that or he will try so hard until he will eventually hate me if I do not become his.

The Optimist – On the brighter side, this one will still be my friend but something will always be off.

The Avenger – This one will be patient enough until I will eventually say yes. He plays along with this newfound success then ensures he leaves when it looks like it will hurt, like some sort of payback for putting him through the whole endurance test.

The Experimenter – Then there is the rare occasion where I like him in an instant then it turns out he was trying the whole thing out and when he finds that it is reciprocal, he gives some excuse like he is not ready for commitment or something to that effect.

The Hunted – Yet another scenario may play out where I notice him first then he discovers my covert interests and tries to see what he can get out of it. When it is not forthcoming, he hits the road.

The Sympathy Seeker – This one will come with a story about how a friend of mine did some disrespectful things to him. Here I am supposed to act all sympathetic and act as the backup plan. No thank you.

The Play-it-safe man – He tried once, he failed. He goes under for months, years even then he comes back with the tale of how he is still waiting on me. I always figure he tried elsewhere and it backfired on him.

Mr. Moneybags – He thinks that simply because he has money, there is no way a girl can say no to him. Get over yourself.

Prince Charming – He is everything, almost. He is so sweet that I am always wondering whether he is human. How do I intentionally get on your nerves and you still keep your cool?

The One – He will be described one day because I do not know who he is yet.

All these men make life entertaining but I am a bit selfish. When I sense something will go terribly wrong, I bail before anything serious develops. Someone even told me that I will end up alone if I never give room to those small heartbreaks.

So maybe one day, I may take my chances and seek for an eleventh man, the one who waits for a girl to initiate the game. I wonder if he exists. Plus I consider it totally taboo to approach a man. Taboo aside, I will tell him how much I think we would work and go ahead to work for his affection.

That will be the day it will snow in Nairobi.

Written by Shiku Ngigi

Mum and dad’s daughter. Shouting big sister. Learning to listen. Jesus freak. Recovering tomboy. Mouse potato. Bass addict. Waking up the writer in her.

    2 Comments

  1. me April 23, 2012 at 12:54 pm Reply

    Ahem. freyoti here….I am looking for myself here, I better be somewhere…where?

  2. Caroline Wanjiku April 23, 2012 at 1:45 pm Reply

    Are you certain you are not? Open your eyes 🙂

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