He sits across me in class. The other day, he told me he loved me. I don’t know why but he did. After three whole years, he has either seen me in another light or gathered enough courage to tell me so. It’s now or never.

Maybe he did it to test me, to see whether I am as hard-to-get as he had thought. Maybe he is just lonely, now that it is our final year and the Moi University academic calendar broke him away from the fresher girlfriend he had last academic year.

Last I checked I am an archive (despite still living in Hostel K). Back when I was a freshman, I was told that an archive is no longer desirable. Funny enough though, my tiny stature seems to mislead freshmen into thinking I am one of them. Anyway, back to him that sits across me in class…

He says he does not want much from me, he just loves me. Maybe it is the pressure from within and without to leave the school having acquired three ‘degrees’. The fact that the Bachelor’s degree seems far from achieving (considering the March elections, the looming run-off, the uncertainty of what the results will mean and the internal confused state of affairs in Main Campus), he probably wants to achieve the other two as soon as possible. I think he should probably ask himself why it is called a ‘Bachelor’s degree’. That should put him at rest.

Need I say more? (Photo credit: dixiesunnews.com)

Or maybe it is because Valentine’s Day is around the corner. I, of all people, know how depressing it is to watch couples swooning in ‘love’ all over campus while I am all alone. Despite how strong I appear to be, deep down, like most single people, I want to be with someone too. Maybe that is the feeling he wants to avoid during this month of love. The entrepreneurial students among us started hawking cards with love messages way before January was over. The pressure!

Maybe I will let him think I love him too, just to fit in, just to get roses on that day. That sounded pathetic, just from writing it.

Till next time, dear diary.

Oh, just in case you are wondering, ‘archive’ is a name given to a fourth year female in university.

(Originally posted in the 3rd Eye, Moi University’s press club publication.)

Written by Shiku Ngigi

Mum and dad’s daughter. Shouting big sister. Learning to listen. Jesus freak. Recovering tomboy. Mouse potato. Bass addict. Waking up the writer in her.

    2 Comments

  1. Alex Ruire February 28, 2013 at 6:51 am Reply

    The thought of being alone scared the shit out of me for a long time,have always wanted to be with someone.Problem was i never understood how i felt about these people that i claimed i loved and wanted.Then i realised i also didnt love myself,so how was i gonna love someone and accept them as they are if i was never accepting myself for who i am and love myself.So now i am on a new journey of understanding myself,”Mrs.Right” can wait till i get my act together

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