Sometimes things happen. Inexplicable things. Mind-boggling stuff. Tear-jerking events. You stare at your screen and wonder why such wonderful things are happening suddenly to you. Why you even after all your mistakes. Why you after all the self-doubt. And then you realize this is what miracles are made of. Yes, you have given your all but no, it’s not your doing. Absolutely not. And finally it hits you it was not suddenly at all. It just looked like it was.

They say patience pays but sometimes you may be waiting for nothing, especially if your understanding of waiting is doing nothing. Like a few minutes ago, I was standing at the bus stop past our offices. After standing for more than the average amount of time I would wait, I decided nope, crossed the road and ended up on this mat to Junction. This is despite the fact that this road is always trafficky. Thank you for noticing I just made up a word. Surprisingly, it is not that bad today. I could have waited. But I didn’t. Let’s just say waiting can be tricky.

What is definitely not tricky is waiting with extra weapons in your arsenal. For instance, if I kept waiting at that bus stop, I know for a fact that I would have found a bus; only that it would have been more expensive. That’s experience. I also could have waited longer since it’s still early. That’s reasoning. I could have still waited because there was no traffic headed to Karen. That’s observation. I could have still waited for a cheap matatu. That’s frugality. Or I could have waited for all the reasons above.

Same case, in this journey called life, you can decide to wait on things to change. But it’s how you wait that matters. Are you just seated there doing nothing? Or are you moving to the rhythm of dynamism? I have written this here before. If there’s anything I learnt in university, it was dynamism. And this wasn’t even in a lecture. I definitely wouldn’t have learnt outside the campus programme all the same. You get out here and rely on just your certificate to get you places and, depending on the degree you pursued, you might be disappointed big-time. If you ask me if I ever saw myself doing what I do now, it would have been a vehement no. N to the NO. But why did I try? Because nothing was coming out of what I thought I wanted to pursue in campus. I’m in no way implying that what I do has nothing to do with the skills I might have acquired in campus. Far from it. Many of my tasks are made a whole lot easier simply because I paid attention in class (and tweeted instead of dozing off). So don’t think for a second I’m telling you to quit. It works for some and not so much for most. Anyway, where were we? I waited and let my fingers do the walking. And my lips and mind the praying. Because believe it or not, when things seem completely out of place, that’s when they are getting back together. I know this is cliché but yeah, that darkest before dawn one is pretty much correct.

While you wait, seek counsel from your folks and friends. At first they might sound crazy but eventually they keep you grounded. My BFF might not remember this but she once told me this immediately after we left high school and I was the only who didn’t know what I wanted to do before JAB called: Carol you might not know what you want to do now but I know you will eventually figure it out. You always do. (Yes, Evelyn, I remember. I know you don’t. 😀 I have carried them everywhere.) Fact: you do not know everything. You never will. But you can know what matters. We can learn something from Sherlock, though fictional. You know how he does not know random general knowledge but he knows how to solve a complicated mystery? There you have it. Open your mind to criticism and to major failure. Prepare to cry. You will cry when you mess up. You will think you’re not strong enough but remember: Greater is He living inside of you than he who is living in the world.

While you wait, consider that at that specific point, only you know what you want and what you’re going through. Who cares if they think that your title is not a traditional title? Who cares if you can’t even explain what you do to a common mwananchi? The world and all in it are moving, so why should you stay put? Move. Embrace your title, whether you’re a blogger or a customer happiness engineer. Yeah, they may sound cheesy but you know what, that’s what you are and you have no apologies to make. You’re making a difference. It may not be apparent, especially when everyone seems so much awesomer on social media, but you have learnt that stealth mode is what keeps you sane. And making up new words every now and then. Because, dynamism. 😀

And just like that, I’ll make it home earlier than usual. And just like that (pretend just here implies many months) I know that planned patience pays. And just like that I conjured up a post. And just like that you are reading it. And you will wait. Or you have waited and know what it is like to try and keep moving. Try while waiting. Move on if you deem fit. With God being your guide, you have nothing to lose. We’re not there yet.

Happy August! The story

Written by Shiku Ngigi

Mum and dad’s daughter. Shouting big sister. Learning to listen. Jesus freak. Recovering tomboy. Mouse potato. Bass addict. Waking up the writer in her.

    7 Comments

  1. Dickson Otieno August 3, 2015 at 8:09 pm Reply

    I love this post. Really. Thank you.

    Remember the other post “Why do you do what you do?”. I so loved it mpaka iko Pocket bado. Can almost re-write it. LOL. This comes second.

    • Shiku Ngigi August 3, 2015 at 10:33 pm Reply

      I have seen you share it on Twitter like so many times and I’m like, wow. Thank you, Dickson!

  2. Njenga August 3, 2015 at 10:35 pm Reply

    Iterate… that’s what i do, and you computer people have an unique understanding of that word. I am on “my” Millionth iteration, and am surely a better person and closer to the desired me

    • Shiku Ngigi August 4, 2015 at 10:50 am Reply

      Oh yes! Well said, Moses.

  3. MUTHAURA KARUTI August 5, 2015 at 10:21 am Reply

    you have given this a thought girl. Nice to share.

  4. hannahakinyi August 5, 2015 at 10:58 am Reply

    “With God being your guide, you have nothing to lose. ” This part is so true. Thanks for the reminder.

  5. Wambugu August 5, 2016 at 8:15 pm Reply

    Good Read,Shiku.

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