Don’t you just love the feeling when you get home and loosen all your clothes and feel free to be you? You know, get rid of that annoying bra that you only notice is tight at 7 pm? That pair of pants that gets real tight at the tummy when you sit in your swivel chair after lunch? That pair of shoes you bought this weekend that only became tight when you walked out of the shop? I know you know what I’m talking about, girls. I don’t know about the boys in the building and whether they ever wear things they can’t wait to get out of, but hey, who knows, right? Maybe they will tell us.
Anyway, yes, clothes. Why do we do that to ourselves? Is it intentional? Do I belong to the group of select few who suffer these pains silently? Did I mention those days you wear a heavy heavy sweater or jacket, complete with scarf then the sun peeps out as soon as you get to work? That’s not all, you have worn something skimpy inside, because you thought it would be chilly all day. A vest. Only. A see-through blouse. A sleeveless piece of cloth. The list is endless. So you die in the heat and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it, except pretend all is well and count down to five o’clock. Or if you can’t stand it, you get off the heavy thing and throw caution to the wind. Every time you walk to the washroom, you wonder what everyone thinks about you showing skin. Someone makes a comment when you’re back. Argh. Thank you, sun. You are the best.
Let’s forget about the clothes you actually wear. Let’s look into your drawer, your wardrobe, your suitcase or box of clothes. Take out all you don’t wear and place in a pile. You thought you looked fantastic in that shop mirror when you tried it on the first time, right? It fit just right, no? But then you spent an entire day in those pants and they just refused. They became funny looking. You really should not listen to those clothes guys at Jamia Mall any more. Ignore his text next time. But no, who else will you go to but them? That’s why tailors exist. To make clothes fit. You’ll go get it reduced then expand it next time when the kilos invade. But some of those clothes in that pile are just whack. How about you just give them out, ey? You make someone else happy, you get space. Doesn’t mean what’s whack to you is whack to someone else.
Then there are those times a piece of clothing decides it was time it tore right down the middle. A button falls of at the worst of places. A zipper comes apart when the zip is up. A sandal snaps. Everything just gets messed up by one tiny thing holding up your entire wardrobe. And you just came from hating on naked women on the Golden Globes red carpet! But you know what? You’re a woman. A woman can hide anything. Now is a great time for the heavy heavy thing to cover up stuff. That safety pin. Gotta love tiny stuff. I told you it’s all about the little things.
When all is dressed and buttoned, it boils down to personal preference. I happen to be one of those females who know what they are wearing when they get out of the bathroom. It’s not planned. I might flinch when someone criticises something I’m wearing. I might even stop wearing it, but most times, if I think I look okay, that’s all I need. Keyword: okay. Not stunning. Not good. The last thing I need is attention. One of the ladies at the office said that we girls dress up for our fellow girlfriends. I agree. Men don’t notice anyway. The only time they do is when they want something. When they think telling you you look nice will add some points somewhere, because they’ve been told we thrive on positive feedback. Ha! Yeah right.
Get into those warm comfy pants, wrap that stocking around your head and enjoy your night! You’re free! Tomorrow’s tightening awaits!
I would have gone on to tell you hair stories, but then again, what will I write about tomorrow?