Questions

You were going to procrastinate again. You were going to write this post some other day. But then someone somewhere insisted that you had to do it today, not tomorrow. So you gave in. He has a point. A few days more and it will be September! Sigh. Where to start?

You have so many things running in your mind on any given day or time that they all seem to evaporate and override each other by the time you want to sit and think of one of them. Days are a blur most times. You get up, snooze a million times, take your sugarless tea (oh yes, you can finally take sugarless tea without blinking) and get to work. Speaking of sugarless tea. It’s been a journey of many turns. You have thought about some of the ladies you know with flat tummies and they have one thing in common – no sugar. Why not you? People insist that you don’t have a tummy but you know you do. These are the kind of friends you don’t need in your life. Friends that tell you lies to make you feel better. Lol. We see you.

You are now embracing change more. You make bolder decisions. You upgrade your phone to marshmallow (lol). You say yes to a marathon. You take criticism with your mouth shut. You don’t freak out when you have to deal with new people or attend new events. What’s the worst that can happen? You make great chapati from scratch on your own. No one even asks you to do it. You’re just saying yes to your conscience. You watch a few videos on YouTube just to be sure, even though your mum has taught you a million times how to make it soft and right. And then hold your breath to see if anyone complains about them. And to your utmost relief, people are fighting over them because you made less than they expected! Hallelujah! You’re now officially ready for marriage, Kenyan style. It feels good to admit a weakness and to overcome it with practice. Your mum is so grateful it’s humbling. You want to be that to your daughter one day.

You hurt sometimes. You are human. Very tiny little things hurt you. But you’re learning from your baby sister and your Sunday school kids. To move on fast after learning your lesson. Shout at your sister and she cries. The next minute she’s hugging you and asking you many many questions even though you still get pissed off. Very little things exhaust you too. A rude customer. A rude anyone. A reckless driver. You are learning to keep it to yourself. You’re learning to be patient with you dear folks too, when they can’t write an email or turn on mobile data. You are contemplating writing down an entire lesson plan to teach them how to handle their computers that sit doing nothing. You will do it. That way, your day is less of a blur. That way, you’re not out there helping strangers when the people at home don’t even know the difference between a data bundle and airtime. Because you do stuff for them all the time. Show a man how to fish… Just like you taught your sister to finally cover her own books and now she does not have to spoil both your moods. 

Your friend who is the most patient wooer you’ve ever met is still at it. You enjoy his company. You know what he wants but you don’t know if you want it exactly. You don’t even know if you should tell him to totally move on and leave you alone, or tell him to stay and remember you’re just friends. But are you just friends really? You don’t know if you want to lose him like that. He doesn’t waste time on pointless chats or smother you with the need to see you all the time. He doesn’t pretend to be in a position to take you to whatever restaurant is the in thing at the moment. You know how some men will take you to Java on your first date then you will never ever see it again in your entire life with him? The man who is perpetually broke after the first two dates once you’re in it for the long haul? He is not that chameleon of a guy. He tells you like it is. Leo tunakula Highlands. Leo nakupikia. And then goes ahead to blow your mind with a dish that he could not have made to save his life a few years ago. You know, when you really enjoy someone’s company but want it to remain just like that, company. Like the years don’t faze you at all. You’re hitting 27 but still feel like you’ve got all the time in the world to just hang out and enjoy the moments. How do you know it’s time? What makes people decide it’s now time I said yes and got married. What is that tipping point? Why hasn’t it hit you yet? The day will come when the questions will stop. And your answers will begin. Soon. But you will never stop asking. Let the questions evolve into others. Ask more questions.

You’re trying to come up with things to do during your leave somewhere in September. Stuff that makes sense. That contributes to society in some way. That’s what happens to single people. :’D No one to give you ideas except you, yourself and the other you. You will figure it out somehow. September here we come!

Written by Shiku Ngigi
Mum and dad's daughter. Shouting big sister. More than a Facebook friend. Jesus Freak. Wannabe Tomboy. Mouse Potato. Earphone Junkie. Texts over calls. Writes the way she talks.

    7 Comments

  1. Issa August 30, 2016 at 10:00 am Reply

    Haha nice and I’m guessing he hasn’t read anything you have posted before…he would have known

    • Shiku Ngigi August 30, 2016 at 12:35 pm Reply

      Lol! He reads everything. Best believe.

  2. Hannah Olukoye August 30, 2016 at 11:09 am Reply

    Did you sign up for Stan-chart marathon?
    Also, I second what Issa says 🙂

    • Shiku Ngigi August 30, 2016 at 12:35 pm Reply

      I so did!

  3. Nyambura August 30, 2016 at 4:34 pm Reply

    Hehehe… See you at the marathon!

    • Shiku Ngigi August 30, 2016 at 6:59 pm Reply

      *Puts running shoes on*

  4. Njeri September 5, 2016 at 1:01 pm Reply

    Sugarless tea! I am like 10+ years in and no regrets. I didn’t do it for a flat tummy, more like something that runs in the family. Not diabetes but just this dislike for sugar. You will love it in the long run I promise but be prepared for more cups of tea than the average person. And it tastes much better with lots of (unprocessed) milk. And give that guy a chance bana!

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