single girl

One year ago, I wrote this post. I remember because of this awesome tool I use called missinglett_r. This amazing website lets me schedule blog posts for an entire year. I just sit back and relax, waiting to discover what it has posted on my Twitter after someone comments or retweets. So if you’re a blogger, you know what to do. It is mostly free. You’re welcome. 😉

Anyway, we were talking about singlehood. As usual. Maybe I should stop talking about it, right? In the meantime, as we chew on that thought, let’s see what has changed since one year ago. Am I still gaining weight? Nope. I have made a conscious decision to stop myself from doing so. It is not quite healthy, gaining weight ovyoovyo, to be honest. Regardless of all those all-up-in-your-biz mamas who keep asking why you are not eating during family get-togethers. Don’t listen to those mamas. They want you look like them, which is not healthy at all. Maybe they could avoid it themselves and it’s culturally acceptable to gain weight as a symbol of “having arrived”. If you can avoid blowing up without making a huge effort, then avoid it. Not even for the look but for the health of it all. Your future babies need you in one piece. Exercise. Eat natural things. Give natural yoghurt a shot. That thing sucks but it’s for the greater good. Tell yourself that, it will keep you going. 

My girls. Oh yes, my girls. I have more girl talk than boy talk now. That is for sure. I have ditched “my boys” to an extent because, it turns out, most were not comfortable with the title. And… wait for it… I do not believe in tight platonic relationships no more. Yes. I said it. It turns out I was deceiving myself, like you all told me and I vehemently refused. I will not give you details, but the short of it is, if you have a friend of the opposite sex who is your super good friend, the first person you talk to when anything big happens, then he might as well be your husband. If he is not, stop it and keep him at arm’s length. End of story.

I am on Facebook by virtue of being a social media manager. Otherwise I would have long deleted it. I have even toyed with the idea of converting my profile into a Facebook page, but I figured that would not be fair to my Facebook friends. So everyday, I log into to it by entering a specific URL e.g. the one to my blog Facebook page, that way, I avoid the News Feed completely. It’s really effortless to be honest. So I am sorry if I never reply to comments or messages, I simply act like they don’t exist by not clicking on the notifications. I am sorry if you have invited me to a wedding on Facebook. That is just messed up. So I am actually not really sorry for missing the invite. The reason I am like this is because I would waste a lot of time on Facebook Chatting. Scrolling through people’s “lives”. So my leaving has nothing to do with anyone, it was just me, myself and I taking out a thing that would waste my soul. I tend to take things I should not take seriously, seriously. It’s the same reason I deleted my WhatsApp two years ago. I wasted a whole lot of time on it. I am just hoping Telegram does not turn into what WhatsApp was for me.

I am still more open than I was a few years ago, but not in any kind of rush to get into anything. Life is not a rehearsal. I am not saying I need to be completely sure about what I am getting into before I do, but it’s better I am at least almost certain that this it. Not from any kind of pressure or kifungamacho.  I am still at peace. Peace with myself and with those around me. Unfortunately, I am still not quite sure I know if I will know when I love someone like that. You know, like that. I guess I will know, right? I have experienced love but I don’t think that’s how it is supposed to be. I have enjoyed someone’s company. I have looked forward to seeing them again. I have insinuated that I wanted to hang out again and again, but I don’t think I know what comes after that. What comes after the laughs and the knowing each other. When everything’s said and done and it is time to separate the jokes from the seriousness. I don’t know. But really, I know. I am just afraid of what that may mean for us and those around us.

The pressure that was not on me last year is still not there, but if we’re being honest (again), subtle hints are dropped everywhere. The only thing cucu will keep telling you is not be lied to by boys, even if you’re hitting 27 in a few months. Your uncle will keep asking where he is. You dress up for one day and everyone insists on knowing where the date is at. I mean, really? Can I only dress up for someone? Lol. So my anti-moving-out attitude has been shaken a little since then. I do not entirely, 100% believe I should continue living in my parents’ house till I am married. But then again, that might just be a fleeting thought. But like I have said before, I am not 100% sure now, as I was last year. That’s the beauty of life. We’re not stones. We change. And all the better if it’s for the best. Maybe next year a time like this, I will be writing from my house. And not only that, but with someone who is more than a friend in my mind. Who knows, right? Now that I have learnt how to drive and some other things you will find out soon. I wrote that I was going to learn how to drive in 2015 and I did. A year can change a lot of things if you are determined. And I know you too are a determined one – one who can count a lot of achievements since last year.

I am not too sure about the 2017 marriage goal though. That would just be weird if I got married next year, right? Like out of the blue? But stranger things have happened. Still waiting. Still not freaking out. Still not thate fae yet. Still not a single-and-available announcement. Check in next September. 😉

Have a lovely October, dear ones!

Written by Shiku Ngigi

Mum and dad’s daughter. Shouting big sister. Learning to listen. Jesus freak. Recovering tomboy. Mouse potato. Bass addict. Waking up the writer in her.

    2 Comments

  1. ciku October 27, 2016 at 5:00 pm Reply

    I would want to hear how your learning to drive experience was like. that would be interesting

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