If you are like me, that is. Our friend B just joined the Android world (he finally admitted that Windows phones suck) and asked me to recommend apps. So I remembered that I have never actually written about the apps that make me sleep better at night. So here goes: Continue reading
You take the painkillers and they simply don’t work. Not in the least. You get that headache again on a Friday night and you just get mad at the world. You don’t finish your supper and just shut everyone out and go to bed. To struggle to sleep. You decide to not move out of the house the next day. To stay put. To iron all the clothes that have piled up over the month and just chill out. Your hair’s a mess. The growth is just annoying. Maybe that’s why your head is aching. That growth is always painful anyways. Continue reading
Lucy had had enough at this juncture. She quit WhatsApp and threw it in the pit of oblivion. She stopped acting out of desperation. After all, she was young and free, right? No more Drew, no more George or Sam. Continue reading
I did this on the bus. Amidst distracting texts and Google Docs lying to me that I can do this offline. It’s been a week and a half, that last week of June. You know something is up when I don’t blog. All the same, such times are enough to come up with a million posts.
So she gave you her phone number and you feel a tad achieved. Cool. But do you know why? If you thought that is the first step in the ‘ingia box’ sequence, think again. It should be noted, however, that the reasons below will not necessarily apply in the world beyond Web 2.0 per se. I do not go out much so my experience as far as number exchange is concerned is a bit biased. I have several memories of giving my number to people I just met mostly during my late teenage. One particular one is worth telling before I give you the reasons.
One bright afternoon in the year 2008, I met a strange dude in the dusty grounds that are the chief’s camp at Kikuyu. I had just landed my first phone and thus was understandably excited and eager to fill my phonebook with numbers. You know what I’m saying? The chief’s camp is a forlorn place where kids like me back then who had attained the new status of adult went to sign up for identity cards. After a rigorous exercise where some other rough guy turned my fingers about in ink and made fingerprints in some document (my memory is fuzzy at this point) then took a very dark picture of me that will forever be my identity, I walked out to find two guys who were coincidentally walking out of the place too.
One of them seemed to have his act together and said hi. Then the conversation picked up as we walked down the hill towards the main road. Apparently he lived in the general direction I was walking too. Muthure, I think. Now that I think about it, he might as well have come from Dagoretti for all I know. The guy was on a mission and direction was the least of his concerns. Half the talk for the next ten minutes was on why I would not give him my number. Eer, because I don’t know you, perhaps? Eventually we had to part ways and he made a final attempt for my number the umpteenth time. What was I supposed to do with a new phone anyway? Just like that, he got my number.
I swear I had not even walked two steps before my phone rang. Yes. I had made a mistake and he was going to bug me for the rest of that month and many more months to come. I picked that call by the way, with a smile. Again, what am I supposed to do with a new phone?
“Ulisema ni Calo (sic)?” he asked.
“Eh,” I answered.
Sigh. He was a shrubber. Maybe, just maybe, that contributed to my shunning him after that but that is a story for another day. To cut the long story short, his number was edited to read ‘Do Not Pick’ just to remind myself never ever to pick his call even 10 years down the line. There is your first reason, gentlemen. She is not used to the occasion where numbers are exchanged so she’ll give it to you anyway.
You’re not a stranger
You have known each since forever but somehow you have never asked for her number since you had other ways to communicate i.e. Facebook, Twitter, physical meetings; the works. If you ask for her number, it will pretty much be expected for her to give it to you. She might even ask why you never had it in the first place. Like I thought you had it all this time!
You make her laugh
You make her ROTFL. She LOLs and DWLs in all your conversations. You are conversational. You seem genuinely interested in what she has to say on Twitter. You moved the talk from the wall (back in the good ol’ Facebook days) or TL to the inbox and DM respectively. You are too sweet in all fairness. You like her photos with moderation, not all of them like a depraved stalker. You tell her stories. You want to know about her day. You are the best buddy she could ever ask for. (Yes, I said buddy. Friend zone alert.)
You bugged her craftily
You asked for her number the first time and she did not budge, probably because you asked too soon. So you completely forget about it (or pretend to) and you proceed to make her days (refer to previous reason). Months pass on. Long rains come and go. You keep the DMs and Facebook chats alive until you are sure there is no chance in hell she will say no the second time. You keep the chats so entertaining she bookmarks the threads on her Opera Mini. She is in. In fact, when you ask for her number and call, she will glow. If you disappear after that, she will actually search you out. Ask why you disappeared, why you are doing this to her.
You massaged her ego
Say she has a blog, or talks about a certain issue on your social network with some level of tact. You hit her mentions, telling her how impressed you are by her prowess. How you would love to have her as a business partner nini nini. How you have bookmarked her blog on Pulse. How you will refer her to a professional you know. I mean, wouldn’t you give your number to such a person yourself?
She likes you
Okay guys, I had to put this one here even though it is the last possible reason. In all fairness, I added it to give you some hope that it is not all in vain. She might actually like you and that is why she gave you her number. Most times, it is directly connected to the making her laugh reason. The liking grew on her. After all, she’s not made of stone. Also, she may feel indebted to you for some skewed reason. She does not want to be the bad guy.
Other reasons include assuring her it’s just for WhatsApp purposes or giving her an out-of-this-world reason. For instance, that you know her BFF who happens to be stuck somewhere in trouble. Call me right now. It’s urgent.
There you have it. Don’t go misinterpreting these acts of kindness. She is not easy. She is just responding to her instincts based on your personality and behaviour. Be assured that no girl will give you her number the first day you ask on social media, especially if you are not Mark Masai or some other hot celebrity. Also, no sane girl will give you her number after you have followed her on every possible social network, +1’d all her posts, liked all her photos and retweeted all her tweets. Creepy much.
Now go ye and hatch that plot!