Sometimes I get mad. Real mad. Super mad. Very angry. Most times, it’s not even the big things that drive me up against the wall. Nah. It’s the little things. When people insist on talking rather than doing. When someone does not do their work and I suffer for it by doing it on their behalf. There are times I get ticked off for a second. Like when my brother opens the tin of jam and leaves it open. Or when he leaves a completely clean kitchen littered after one food adventure. Or when mum keeps calling out my name while I’m on phone. Or when dad misreports something I did to mum. Or when my sister won’t sleep and finds all sorts of reasons to move around the house at 11pm banging doors and visiting the loo ten times. Or when my other brother decides to not do what I say. Yeah, big sister syndrome. I will shout. I will shout louder. I’ll make sure everyone in the house knows I’m mad,including the cats. But I forget I was mad a few minutes later.

You get my point. I get mad a whole lot. Mostly at people close to me. Honestly if I don’t know you and you do similar things mentioned above, I’ll probably not even notice. If you are just an acquaintance and you make an accusation I don’t find pleasing, my most likely reaction is nothing. I will ignore your chat until the next time you say something that makes sense. If you’re someone who’s always making fun of me, I’ll probably never get mad at you. If you are someone who recently tried to get close to me, all hell will break loose. My reply will contain so many sentences, you’ll mistake it for a blog post. That’s how I am wired, somehow. Weird.

All these times, if you are man enough to talk about it when I want to talk about it, we will move on. We will be so close, we’ll forget something like that ever happened. But if you are defensive, if you avoid talking about the conflict, I’ll never take you for a serious friend. And you’ll just drop off my radar. If I was wrong, I’ll admit I was wrong. I will apologize. I will make it up to you. I will realize getting mad at you for more than a day is pointless. It wastes time and energy. I will give you a second chance. A third even. I’ll throw in a fourth as a bonus. If this does not work, it will be time to call it quits. Notice I’m writing with a man in mind. This is because more often than not, men are the ones I’m in conflict with. I don’t know why. Maybe I do. I’ll find out.

I’ll keep it that short today. It’s March. I’ll attempt to march on and write every single day. Brace yourselves. Also, I should probably watch Mad Max: Fury Road, what with the Oscars and all.

Ephesians 4:26 In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold.

Written by Shiku Ngigi

Mum and dad’s daughter. Shouting big sister. Learning to listen. Jesus freak. Recovering tomboy. Mouse potato. Bass addict. Waking up the writer in her.

    5 Comments

  1. Issa March 1, 2016 at 10:35 pm Reply

    Weirdo ???

    • Shiku Ngigi March 2, 2016 at 4:28 pm Reply

      Look what the cat dragged in! 😛

  2. hannahakinyi March 1, 2016 at 11:06 pm Reply

    Hehehe! hiyo Oscars show iko kwa to watch list. We shall exchange notes.

    • Shiku Ngigi March 2, 2016 at 4:26 pm Reply

      Pap!

  3. Alex Ndegwa June 3, 2016 at 2:38 pm Reply

    Hasira Hasara

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