Tembea Kenya. Tembea kwa jirani. Tembea Addis.

There are many things you don’t get to learn about a place until you hit the ground running, literally. You don’t realize how big a neighbouring country is or how little you know about it beyond the textbook.

Initially, we were to head to Zambia. But that’s the other thing about learning about a place. You can learn a lot about it by just paying it a little more attention than usual. Turns out the airfare to that place is out of this world. It is like flying to Bahamas or something. And it is just down here. There went my dream of visiting Livingstone and bathing in the showers of the Victoria Falls.

So what did me and boo do, as the responsible adults we are? We went for the next best, nearest, most frugal option. Addis. Super cheap flights by both Ethiopian Airlines and Kenya Airways multiple times a day. We only went with ET because it had more convenient times. They both price them the same way. We can go to Livingstone at any other point in time, when we’re more able and deserving of some serious spoiling ourselves. 

We booked everything via Booking.com and TripAdvisor. They come in handy with these things. 

Tightly-controlled economy

First of all, the one thing you realize (or judge too soon) as soon as you are out the airport doors is that Ethiopia is a “closed” economy. Or it was until very recently. Everything you will see in the street is nowhere near familiar. No Uber. However, Ethiopian ride-hailing apps exist. No global/pan-African bank. No English. 

I am serious.

The Kenyan woman travelling with us to the hotel on the hotel shuttle made sure we knew about that. And then she mentioned this genuine leather market at the stadium where she went for products during her frequent work trips here. And then she went further to mention that the famed electric train is unbearable because it is always packed with people. I guess we were going to see for ourselves.

So we got to Getfam hotel to a warm welcome. It is a very nice hotel sandwiched between many other nondescript buildings along the main superhighway that straddles the famed train. After the usual preliminary to-dos, the smiley concierge took us up to our room. As advertised, it was lovely. And as expected, it was all decked up in honeymoon paraphernalia. You know, the roses-in-heart-formation-on-your-bed deal. Fruit and sweets. Exactly as you imagine it.

For me, this was the most important part of the whole deal. Mr. The bed. The bathtub. The robes. The smart TV. Fullstop. I couldn’t care less about the outside for this particular tour. And true to it, we spent more time in the water and bed than outside. 😂😛 

So, as expected of me, the first thing we asked for was internet connection for the TV. And we lazed all afternoon till dinnertime. So without getting into the main details you don’t need, let me tell you about nine more things I learnt about Ethiopia from the bustling streets of Addis. 

Language

The first thing that hits you is Amharic. And that you already know if you have flown Ethiopian Airlines to anywhere before. Even in some shops, the people manning them have no idea what you’re saying in English. You will resort to gestures and sometimes those won’t work either. You end up admiring them though. Who says you have to learn a foreign language to be happy. Although they learn English in school, they just don’t feel obliged to own it. 

Orthodox

These guys are SUPER religious. Mostly Orthodox. One of the biggest culture shocks for us was seeing people kneeling and praying on the road near them churches. They basically believe that they are descended from the baby of King Solomon and the Queen of Sheba. And there is a very intriguing tale about how that happened. The short version is that King Solomon tricked the Queen of Sheba into the whole conception manenos by feeding her food with lots of salt and keeping the water she would inevitably need in his bedroom. Dot dot dot. That is the version the guide gave us. Another close version is recorded on Wikipedia.

We also paid a visit to one of the oldest churches; St George’s Cathedral which has a little museum next to it. This houses a lot of the ceremonial jewels and attire that is worn by priests and even brides and grooms. Getting inside the church requires you to take off your shoes at the entrance. The priest welcomes you in. You are hit by this infinite scent of incense once you venture into the dark round carpeted sanctuary. You are in the outer section now where the priest performs a certain dance while beating a big drum. You cannot go into the inner room at the centre. That is special. The sanctuary is adorned with beautiful paintings all around the walls. The paintings reflect Bible and Ethiopian stories. Haile Selassie was crowned here.

Museums

Lots of them. They love their history. And I love history! Therefore, we visited four of them, including the one I just mentioned above. There is this free museum called the Red Terror Martyrs Memorial Museum. It is a sad sad museum. People died. Lots of torture and division. Eritrea was born. Ethiopia is thus landlocked. A guide we talked to at a later date told us it is a controversial history over there and that the real truth has been really jumbled up, mostly by the West. Just from the one interaction with that guy, we could tell why the economy is so closed. Lucy, the earliest man (woman) was found in Ethiopia. And you can find her at the National Museum of Ethiopia.

Time in Ethiopia

Years: It is the year 2012 in Ethiopia right now. I mean, they literally do their own thing. So they were celebrating the new year juzi. I honestly don’t know how they do that. Like they pretend it’s that year but really, they are in 2019 like all the rest of us. I can’t even.

Clocks: They set their clocks the way we read them in our mother tongues. So if it is 8 o’clock, the clock will show 2 o’clock. Because the day starts at 7 o’clock (that is 1 o’clock) when morning breaks and ends when it’s dark again. This makes perfect and complete sense. I mean, who messed us up like this. Up to date, I still have beef with Wallah bin Wallah, but maybe I shouldn’t. And maybe I failed that one question in my KCPE. We really are confused be Westernization. Maybe I should start writing in Kikuyu. Ha! But that’s when you start to really admire Ethiopians for sticking to their guns and being sensible. Who even convinced us that the day ending at midnight makes sense?

Festivals

They happened to be celebrating this interesting festival when we were there in which women danced around the streets in their traditional white dresses while men hit the tarmac with whips. In the rain. That was interesting to watch. 

More History

Addis is expansive. I am very sure we did not see half of it. Constructions everywhere. Blue taxis everywhere. Quite old too. They look like Peugeots but they are Ladas, a Russian brand. Like I said, there is no Uber. And like I said, they love history. Hehe. Change is coming though. Here is a recent interesting article by The Guardian about vintage Peugeots in Harar, another city in Ethiopia. We drove through Merkato, the largest market in Africa. It was moved from the original location to this current one as a result of segregation during the Italian occupation. Yes, Ethiopia was not colonized, but also yes, them Italians came back later (after losing that first battle of Adowa) and occupied the land for a few.

The People

The same way we can tell an Ethiopian by just looking at them, they can also tell Kenyans the same way. We had people calling out Swahili greetings to us randomly on the street. Humans are a wonder. Meanwhile here we are thinking they all look alike when they know they don’t. And we know we don’t. They have way more tribes than we do. And they are way more populated.

Cuisine

Ethiopian coffee is the best. Sorry, fellow Kenyans. You get used to it, and there is no going back to obsessing about Kenyan coffee. We went to this popular coffee joint in the city where patrons drink from tiny glasses. They call it Tomoka Coffee which is apparently a place you have to visit to really say you went to Addis. It was a common fixture everywhere on the streets, coffee drinking everywhere in those tiny glasses. Makes a lot of sense, considering coffee originated in Ethiopia, if the legend is anything to go by. Remember the goats that chewed them berries and gained renewed energy? LOL. Their herder was Kaldi. Thus Kaldi’s. Get it? Yes, Kaldi’s Coffee is everywhere, but not as popular as those small coffee shops.

But that’s where it ends for me. That injera thing, and the spices they use on food. Not for me. Thanks. Mr loves it though. Visiting Habesha 2000 was super cool though. They serve you coffee with such funfare that you just want to order more for that whole smoke thing to happen again. I think I saw this happen at Abyssinia in Westlands too. Even then, Injera was just too much for me. I need my carbs solid and unfermented. The China Bar & Restaurant we stumbled upon on one of our many walks across the city served some kind of Chinese food we have never tasted before. Up to now, Mr keeps asking me if there is a way we can go back to just that. We have tried others here but none ever matches up to that sweet and sour chicken on that street near the stadium. 

The Last Emperor

Haile Selassie. Ras Tafari. The emperor. We learnt about him in history. Nothing new. What was very new to me, however, was that he was a short man. His bed in the Ethnological Museum found in the University of Addis Ababa was proof. The guide could not stop talking about his height. This museum was actually his palace before he moved to a newer one. So you basically walk through his bedroom and bathroom. Huge bathroom. These guys were affluent from back in the day. Oh, the fact that he was emperor because he and all his forefathers descended from King Solomon was also new.

By the way on the way back home I was so pissed off. Bole International Airport — a whole international airport that has been all newly expanded and decked up to very much remind you of European airports, is full of businesses that do not accept card payments. *rolls eyes to the back of head* I was so disappointed. But anywho, Ethiopia tutarudi kuona the rest of it. Apparently Lalibela is real cool and is laden with rich history, including rock-hewn churches from ages ago. Also, ati the Ark of the Covenant is in Axum, yet another historic capital. Plus if the green I saw up Entoto Hill is anything to go by, Ethiopia is a beautiful country. And it is not so “closed” up after all. All kinds of new things are happening over there now. The new Primer Minister and his liberal policies. Jack Dorsey. Alibaba. Safaricom and co.

To the next adventure.

Also, in the spirit of adventure, I am embarking on a new career journey. Stumble upon something up my alley? Hit your girl up. Merci.

First of all, I know their ancestors were our colonizers but I love a lot of British things. The accent. The history. The series that come from that place: Sherlock. Merlin. The Bodyguard. The Crown (the reason I subscribed to Netflix). Arsenal at a certain teenage point in my life. A lot of things. Bernard’s Watch. Bless This House. I can still hear the theme song in my head as I type this. Like I said, a lot of things.

So I will not say I was not super pumped to step on that soil earlier this year.

Sasa the only problem was the weather. You step out of the airport and it finally hits you how cold it is. I have never been that cold in my life. And don’t forget the heat that we have been having until recently around here. At least the weather is changing polepole. I am telling you I had not worn a sweater for months this 2019 apart from that moment in London. And I am the girl that is teased for always being in sweaters by some people I will not mention. Brace yourselves my Naija brothers and sisters. The. Sweaters. Are. Back.

Back to the London cold. I had underestimated it. My colleagues and I walked out of the automatic doors, bags in tow, into the cold air and I wanted to scream. First of all, I had not unpacked my warm jacket, so I was just in my hoodie that is normally overly warm in Nairobi. Weh. Mimi ni nani? I decided to brave it. We followed the signs to find to the Tube. That’s what’s they call the London Underground trains there, so we actually got totally confused when we realized following the train signs lead to you to something else entirely. Thankfully, there is a helpful tourist centre with staff that guide you, but not before you bump into some random hustler who will try to get you to buy some weird tickets to nowhere you know. Fishy people are everywhere, not just pale Archives. LOL.

We got the Oyster cards that let you get into any public transport to use all week then headed down to the tube. At this point, you can imagine we were being very careful with the stops and signs because Shiku is very prone to getting lost in new places but is still the one who wants to demonstrate confidence in knowing where we are. LOL.

We eventually got to London Bridge, our station of arrival. Sasa hapa ndipo ngoma ingine ikaanza. First, I am cold and the one who has the offline map downloaded, so I have to expose my bare hands in the cold cold air. And it’s more than a kilometre walk to somewhere you have never been before, dragging bags. Sigh. But ujuaji na kuchocha is fantastic, and you have to end up where you were instructed to end up. So we walk in the near empty streets up and down to Bermondsey. I could not pronounce this word right until the last last days.

By the time we got settled into our rooms, I did not want to talk to anyone or eat or do anything. I just wanted to shower and sleep in the warmth. And that is exactly what I did. From like 4PM to 6AM. :joy: Best feeling in the world.

Finally, I could now shake off my disorientation and enjoy cold London.
The walk to the office was the best, because it was across Tower Bridge. I was gawking all through, inside my warm clothes, looking like an eskimo. Pictures were taken.

Fast forward to the moments we could see stuff after work hours. Btw don’t ever let anyone lie to you about how they normally have the time of their lives when they travel for work. Issa lie. You have to squeeze that time in. You are there for work anyway. Who do you think you are? Asi. I can even tell you without exaggerating that the only day I walked around places in broad daylight was Saturday, just before our flight back.

Stratford City Mall is this huge thing that has all the shops for kawaida mwananchi like me, including, of course, Primark. Woi, but this Primark be dirty oo. In the fitting room, I near puked. I am not even kidding you. Beggars will not be choosers. And you can bet I bumped into a Kenyan in there.

Tower Bridge

Tower Bridge at night

View from Tower Bridge

Same view at night

Buckingham palace golden-ness

Buckingham Palace

Flowers 🙂

Guard who did not flinch lol

Westminster Abbey

Houses of Parliament

Big Ben. Just look at it. My dream of London was not complete without seeing that big clock.

Churchill overlooking the Houses of Parliament

The super crowded Borough Market

Yay, I’m on a double-decker.

Real English Breakfast. At this joint, I felt like I was on Tom Mboya Street.

Fish n Chips!

Oxford Street

da Tube

I made an appearance on Oxford Street just because my colleague insisted it is the shopping street of shopping streets. But mimi I don’t leave my Ukikuyu behind. I did not buy a single thing on that street. Too expensive. I’d rather come back with my pounds. But if I was super rich, I’d have bought every item in the GAP store.

I got on a double-decker bus that night. And as expected, I got lost. I got off the wrong bus stop and had to let Google take me round in circles before I got back to the hotel. LOL.

Loved the fish and chips!

Remember my Arsenal teenage love? Of course I had to get on the tube and go to Arsenal. I mean? Plus my brothers are cray Arsenal fans, so I had to grab a few things for the men in my life who support the club.

Also, my friends, I love the British Monarchy. Buckingham Palace was a must. Just watching those guards matching back and forth across the courtyard for no reason was interesting. It is totally crowded though so getting a clear pic is hard work. Plus the whole Westminster area with the Westminster Abbey and Big Ben (which totally confused me because I had forgotten it is under construction).

In short, that was pretty much most of it. I would go back to London again and again. Hopefully I can see the Tower Bridge being lifted then. And it will be summer. And I can go to 221B Baker Street. And I can dine at The Shard. And Madame Tussauds.

I have stared at this white space for a minute now.

A lot can go through your mind when you have a lot to do. And when several new things are happening in your life.

Like when you get into a flight and find familiar food, because it’s KQ and you’re at home in the air. And you can now be easy on them for always delaying flights.

When you land and people clap, because you left the scorching Nairobi sun (which is actually not scorching for a lot of non-Kenyans) and descended into the currently thunderstorm-y Joburg.

ET302. Peace and rest. 🙏

And when you get out and finally understand why they call us the rest of Africa.

As I enter my 30th year, a few somethings from 2018:

You may start the year with all the resolutions in the world (even when you’ve never been a resolutions kind of person), but the year may shock you in both good and bad ways by giving you its own resolutions for you. How you embrace those surprises is up to you.

You will say no so many times that, when you finally say yes, you’ll learn that the saying no helped your saying yes get easier.

Sometimes. No, who am I kidding. A lot of times, your boss will drive you crazy. You will want to quit 1000 times. But a lot of times, you’re probably at fault too. Because you want to think people read minds, even  when you know they don’t. And you want other people to change, and not you. And you will hang on to past hurt to no real gain. Then you’ll get all the wiser and realize, no matter how much someone else wants to help you, if you don’t want to help yourself, you might as well shut it and drown in your pool of self-pity. Which will lead you nowhere. So, better alternative, get up and show what you got. Because no-one else is going to do that for you.

It’s good to have a list. I mean, it implies you’re organized and whatnot. But when the rubber hits the road, a list is just a list. You may have missed things on your list and you may have not thought about adding columns that qualify the items in the list. Why is it so important for you to find someone who has that particular thing? Why does he have to have it now and not later? Life is not a shopping spree.

Living alone is pure joy. I know I’d preached against this here for years. In fact, my first night alone, I walked up the stairs to ask my then annoying neighbour to turn down her volume. Also, I can’t stay with a cat for now. That notwithstanding, there are many things I would not have experienced without moving out. Needless to say, it’s great segue into marriage. I think. Don’t quote me.

You can have stronger bonds with friends separated through time and space than those a stone’s throw away from you. Not everyone will get it. Hang on to those friends. The proverbs still stand, you know, “Fimbo la mbali haliui nyoka” etc, but today, that fimbo is still complimented by one miles away through technology and love.

Dance! Break free from shyness. It’s so liberating. Trust me.

Be patient with that hair. Including the white ones. You’ll be surprised at how fast dead cells can crown your head.

Experiment. Try. It really does not hurt. Red Fenty lipstick can actually look good on you. Eventually. I think. Unless everyone has been lying. Lol.

This post was supposed to go up last year, on 29th. But I kept pushing it, like I did all my posts. Not anymore. I just restarted it from here. Because I realized the more you stop doing things you love, you kill a part of you slowly. I’m learning this from slowly picking up my reading. From Becoming.

You will find him.

He will make you happy. You will make him happy too. Iron will sharpen iron.

You will ask yourself which finger the ring goes on the night it happens. A question you’ve never even asked yourself your entire life.

You will learn wedding dress types and names. And realize how hard it is to find that one you’ve been pinning all over Pinterest. But you know in your heart you will find it.

You are realizing how much it takes to do all that it takes to fulfil your people’s dreams for you, because you know it’s not just about you. But you’ll do it. Because that’s what first-borns do.

You just broke the news the way you were not supposed to. Lol.

Let’s assume nothing just happened and move on. You will question a lot of things about why you do what you do, as you always have. You’re still looking for the answers. There’s got to be more to life.

Like being there for others. Reaching out and dialling a number you should have dialled months ago and finding out how that girlfriend is. Just listening to someone, or hugging that child who has stealing tendencies because they don’t know better.

You will fight. You will make up. You will break your own rules. You will feel guilty. You will get up and keep moving.

You will join the Netflix zeitgeist and stream on bundles for months until Safaricom finally comes your way with home fibre and a free Sunday newspaper. You will watch too many things and forget half of them.

You will learn to be more spontaneous and sometimes live for the moment. See the world. The world right outside your doorstep or a little beyond.

You will reconsider going back to WhatsApp.

You will start learning a new language. Something you never thought you’d ever do. Especially French, of all languages. A challenge is beautiful.

You will watch people blossom around you. And your heart will swell with joy, because you get to be a part of that journey with them. And blossom alongside them. And attend all them happy occasions.

Days will fly. It’s crazy. You’re growing old. And it’s exciting.

Your playlists will change. Because songs that you could never relate to now make complete sense.

You will learn to give without expecting anything in return. Because that’s what giving really is, anyway.

You will get your rhythm back. And you will learn to accept that not everything is black and white.

Je t’aime.

After getting lost in Madrid, I came back to my comfort zone for a week then headed out the next Saturday to Marseille. I was very anxious about this trip to France because it was going to be loooooong. When I say long, I mean very long. Why? Because cheap is expensive. As a newbie, I am not an expert at looking at the best flights with the shortest layovers, neither was my friend. Plus we let these flight booking sites trick us with their cookies. So much so that we later discovered that people who booked different flights months after, all got even cheaper rates and better flights. SMH. So it’s not even a matter of cheapness, it’s inexperience.

Anywho, the day came and I got relieved a bit. Etihad Airways is a cool airline with female and male cabin crew that sport very striking lipstick and perfect hair cuts respectively. And it was my first time on such a large plane. I sat next to this American girl who was quite chatty at the beginning, with some braids on her blonde hair. LOL. Total hippie. Plus since we booked these flights via Alitalia originally, I could not book seats in advance so I ended up next to the lavatories. LOL. So you keep hearing that loud vacuum flushing all the time. I can’t seem to remember what I watched during this leg. I think it was The 15:17 to Paris. I had to Google the title now. I was not sleepy yet, the best was yet to come. I got to Abu Dhabi at some minutes to 9. A few minutes into walking into the terminal, I met up with this other Kenyan who had an even longer layover, but we lost each other at the security check.

Abu Dhabi International Airport is a real swanky airport. They have poured a lot of their abundant money into making it the airport of choice for layovers. I was going to spend 6 hours here, so I decided to find the best seats in the terminal of my next flight. If I was sleepy, these would have been very helpful. I was not. Yet. I grabbed something to eat and chat up my people. I am not exactly sure what I did for the rest of the six hours. What I remember is too much a/c and people running across the terminal to their flights. I finally moved down to my gate about an hour to my flight. I was obviously starting to get real tired, so I did not like the next flight much. But hold that thought.

Real nice, right?

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