(Do people still say manenos?)

I was thinking of what to write today then I remembered I should have written about being on a train for the first time in my life. Okay, fine, I have been on the miniature train. The tiny train that remained the biggest reason I looked forward to Show every year as a kid. And if you understand what I meant by Show, you will likely relate, so I will not explain. After I grew up and read about the Kenya-Uganda railway and how it paved way for most of Kenyan “civilization” as we know it today, I wanted to get on the Lunatic Express. That never happened (clearly) and my chance to experience that part of history passed on just like that. So much for procrastination.

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Hi lovely people! Remember back in October when we were discussing Streetlights Bible? (I say discussing because some awesome peeps took over this Facebook post and the conversation in there was simply off the charts.) Well, as usual, my excitement died down and I forgot about it after listening to just a few books.

Truth be told, I have been struggling to read the past few months, not just the Bible but any book. The days I could read a book in a day because of how it made me feel are gone. I think the last time I did that was with 13 Reasons Why mid last year. I have bought books and read a chapter of each and moved on to another. Smh. I think the tide is changing back to normal now after I discovered Jojo Moyes had written a third book as a sequel to Me Before You – Still Me. And I would not have found out had it not been for me walking into Text Book Centre by chance just to pass time and seeing it right there on the shelf among the new arrivals. I immediately picked it up and started reading it same day. Again, I have not read it in a day or two like I did with Me Before You, or After You but at least I am making progress.

Which brings me back to Streetlights Bible. Last Sunday, my favourite preacher, John Calvin Kamau was on the pulpit sharing the Word from Psalms 119:105. Continue reading

I am feeling pretty low right now. Down in the dip. Extremely low. I just got home, threw my stuff on the sofa and lay down. I chat a friend and then switched off data and tears just flowed. To be honest my tears could have just dropped an hour ago, but I held them back because someone was gracious enough to fight my fight. But the floodgates opened now and I let them do their thing. Then I grabbed a serviette that was lying on the table from two nights ago when I was eating cake, dabbed my eyes and knelt down to just say something to the Almighty. I felt like such a fraud doing that. The first time I pray today is simply because I feel lost, not because I am saying thank you or I am happy, but because I am asking for direction.

I have been on some never-ending adrenaline the past few months I guess. I stopped writing. I moved out. (Yes, I did that and never told you all. Sorry guys.) I got involved in some pressure projects. I quit Twitter. I cut ties with a few people I had developed acquaintance with the past year. Lots happened. Lots has happened. And suddenly, I feel like I am deflating now. It is my moment to come back down to earth and think about what I am doing. When it’s all said and done, there is something I am looking for in all my quitting and trying new things.

After I said my prayer, I felt like I should play some soothing music. Lord I Need You by Matt Maher kept ringing in my head but on second thought, something even better hit me. I should write. I should write something I probably don’t want to publish, but it will likely be the best outlet for me. The outlet I have rejected for so long. I feel the exact way NF feels about his music. If you have listened to Therapy Session, you will know what I mean. So I picked up my old laptop that was lying on the sofa (I leave a lot of things lying around) and started writing this.

A friend of mine thinks I manage stressful situations very well but the truth is I am just good at burying stuff and living in the moment. I am good at forgetting something for a moment. Or two. Or two days. Or three weeks. But eventually I will think about the thing I am running away from. I will think about it after running from it. After running out of distractions. And I have pretty solid distractions from real life. But when the distraction becomes the thing I need to get distracted from, then that becomes a problem. And Band-Aid solutions will only work for another month until something else happens. Or some other two things happen that rip off the bandage with such incredible force that I end up like this.

I am not depressed, neither am I delusional. I know there is a reason I am feeling the way I am feeling. And I need to stop running. I need to face my giants. I need to figure out why I stopped doing the things that really matter to me by substituting them with others, when these things actually helped me handle life better. I need to get back to the start.

And again, don’t freak out, people. I am okay. Really, I am. I just needed to let this out and figure out my next course of action. Maybe that’s the only way I will take steps to remedy everything and in effect be the help I need to be to people around me. You know, it can’t just be about me in all this. It has to be bigger than me. The reason I am here is not for me and thus the reason I do or not do anything should not be because I don’t feel like. I will be back. Soon.

I guess being low is a good thing sometimes. It’s in the deep that water springs where there is none coming from high above. And gold. And oil. And a lot of strong, green trees.

Hugs and kisses y’all. I had missed you. 🙂

I guess I am back.

I’m seated at the salon, my hairdresser twisting my hair into little locks. Yeah, I locked my hair three weeks ago after I finally gave up on the hassle of trying to make it look good, in all its toughness. I think I like the direction I am going with this. Anyway, that is not why I am back. In the recent past, someone hit my mentions and said that he misses the days I would keep him abreast on the latest in our music world. Just in case you were wondering whether your thoughts are part of the “Thoughts and Stuff” mantra, well, they most definitely are. Thanks so much for always checking in. 🙂

@shikungigi once upon a time you used to introduce me to dope Christian jams on your blog, please go back #sincerereader

— Uncle mickey (@mwalimumiki) August 15, 2017

Well, a lot has happened in my music world since the last time I ever spoke music in here but I will talk about the most recent two and make it a habit going forward.

All Things Work Together

First and foremost, Lecrae releases his eighth album, All Things Work Together a few weeks ago. Continue reading

So, a few minutes ago I was lying in bed, stalking someone I bumped into on the streets of Nairobi today. Stalking them online. I have a reputation for that. Eventually I landed on my blog and thought I’d read some old posts. Then I started editing some typos from months back. Then I ended up on my ‘What’s in My Bag’ post from 2016. And then I asked myself, what excuse do I have for not writing a 2017 version? After all, I think showing what’s in my bag this year might lead me to tell you all something I should have told you if I was writing as expected. So here we go. Continue reading