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Thoughts and Stuff - Do. Read. Write.

The Fourth Trimester: How It Started

The fourth trimester

Ladies and gentlemen, remember when I bid you goodbye last year, one Monday in November? Little did I know that the fourth trimester was gearing to start in a day! I kid you not, it’s like I called it.

One minute I am sleeping peacefully, the next, I’m heading to the loo to pee and then the next, I’m lying down and shwaaaaaaa, I feel a gush down there. (I don’t know what onomatopoeia to write to express the feeling.)

I am almost certain this is not it. It can’t be it, can it? I mean, my EDD is a whole week away. I get up and walk to the loo again. Yep. I am spilling water. This is around 6 am.

“Babe, I think my water has broken,” I say, half laughing. 

Mr gets up. He has been awake, anyway, since he asked me if I was okay long before this. I had been a bit restless that night but felt fine. 

“We should go to the hospital, right?” 

“Right.”

Very fast, we dress and grab the bags and masks. It is time, even though it doesn’t feel like it is. I am not even in pain and still not sure my water has broken. I tell my help I will probably be back. Lol. No, you will not, Shiku. 

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Diary of a Bibi Mama: Third Trimester Edition

The journey is almost at the end of its beginning. Yay! Maybe it is because you had a crazy first trimester, but your third trimester is mostly a walk in the park. You’re not that tired even though you do look tired all the time. Stairs and hills are work though. Let’s not talk about looks because you gave up on that long ago. All your photos in this trimester look like a strange version of you. You can finally see that nose that was giving away your secret before you started showing the bump. Apparently it grows for you to supply enough air for two people. I mean, really? ROTFL. Oh, I forgot. I can’t roll no more.

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You Might Be Interested in This

Digipesa Tea

I promised a post every Monday, but my psyche had other ideas. And I decided not to fight it.

So I will let you in on another Monday project that you might be interested in. Every Monday morning (or just before the deadline passes where you can legitimately call it a morning), we send a weekly compilation of an NSE markets overview, crypto and the latest investing and financial news that caught our eyes — news that we think might interest you too and help you make better financial decisions. We like to call it Digipesa Tea.

Interested? Visit digipesa.com and sign up!

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Destination Diani

diani beach

2020 has shown us many things. We have learnt to accept the things we cannot change and adapt accordingly. One thing that was taken away from us was the ability to travel. Back then, we would all wait with bated breath for the president’s addresses, just in case he opened or closed something again. 

So it is with no hesitation that the moment the county borders were opened, we quickly jumped on the opportunity to revive our anniversary plans to what we could get as affordably as possible while still getting a new experience. And you know how the travel and hotel accounts on social media immediately began posting some tantalizing offers to bring back customers after that long interruption. I was very much excited about this because I knew I needed a babymoon ASAP, before everything changed. 

We made the decision to go to Diani. Why? He loves Diani. I had never really been that far into the South Coast. We were also going to be daring and go by bus, since we had never done it before. After scouring Google and Booking.com for options, we booked a room at Bahari Dhow Beach Villas and a Modern Coast bus to Mombasa. All this while we’re thinking about how all this is crazy. What if the borders are closed again? But we sort of threw caution to the wind and hoped for the best and waited.

So the day arrives and we’re pumped, up and ready to hit the road early to catch the bus on Accra Road. It gets there right and starts moving right on time. Only about a quarter of it is occupied, with Covid measures still in high gear. You can tell something is off about the bus though, since every time it changes gear, it vibrates repeatedly. For some reason the driver and conductor don’t seem fazed about this so I am not. Or maybe they are but because I am on headphones, I have no idea. Everyone is seated alone, that is why I am in my own masked world. 

Modern Coast O2
The O2 that gave up the fight.

We stop at Total Mombasa Road then at Distinct Stop Over (Makueni) then eventually at Rubi Restaurant (Mtito Andei) at around quarter to 2. I so dig into the chicken and rice along the way. Funny how I can delight in eating on the road now, something I would not even dare think about while stationary a few weeks before this. 

Anyway, you remember our bus has some gear trouble but somehow we have made it halfway? The trouble strikes a few minutes after we leave this last stop. The bus is labouring more now and it eventually gives up and we stop on the roadside. Calls are made back to the office and eventually another bus enroute to Mombasa rescues us. A dirtier, more cramped country bus. 😁 So much for our air conditioned social-distanced journey. Cha muhimu ni kufika. 

The delay stresses us a bit because, remember, curfew is still on and we have to make it across the ferry through another 1 hour journey by cab to Diani. However, when we finally arrive at the bus stop, our cab driver is waiting patiently and is determined to get us there on time. We make it through the ferry queue, having watched a Corona measures video loop over ten times before we’re finally floating over to the other side. 

Bahari Dhow Reception Art

We get to Bahari Dhow in about 40 minutes, because Elkanah has to beat curfew on the way back too. We are just short of curfew time by 20 minutes. Weh. But at least we’re there with a story to tell. We register and are shown to the villa. Rooms are located in lookalike mansions, complete with shared kitchens, dining and sitting areas. The mansions face each other with three swimming pools sitting in the middle. Walking past that leads you to the African Oasis Restaurant and the white sandy beach. 

We’re obviously beat and just want to eat, shower and sleep. Any further delay to this trip and my feet would have swollen from here to Watamu. Babymoon indeed. Exploration will start tomorrow. 

Unlike me, I wake up quite early the next morning because I just want to see everything. The sunrise over the palm trees is so calming. I am clearly falling for the coast slowly. I was always one to prefer staying away from the heat and humidity. The property also has very beautiful frangipani trees. Don’t look at me like that. I am just acting like I knew the name. I only knew after using Google Lens to identify the type of tree. 🤣

Sunrise over palm trees - Bahari Dhow Beach Villas
Frangipani tree - Bahari Dhow Beach Villas

Breakfast is served at the restaurant where you select what you want on a paper, not buffet. We suspected this was with the reduced guest numbers. We hit the beach after this, but it is surprisingly windy. Excessively, such that the sand in your face will not allow you to enjoy basking, so we head back up to the swimming pool to chill. Since there are very few people — save for the energetic group of Nigerian men who have commandeered the last pool for a ball game — we have the first pool to ourselves. Not like I can swim or anything, but it’s quite nice being in the water just moving around. They say it’s good exercise. 

Jolly Bar Pizzeria Ice Cream

We take advantage of the calm the next morning to explore the beach just before it starts raining that afternoon, albeit for a short time. And then we decide to walk out the premises on the road to see what is on that side of the world. Lots of establishments are still closed with the few open ones being quite empty. We settle for an Italian restaurant, Jolly Bar Pizzeria, for some cold refreshments. It’s a real cool place I wouldn’t mind going back to for a pizza. One day. 

Did I tell you Bahari Dhow has these monkeys that wait for any opportunity to get into your space and eat whatever you leave behind? Yep, if you don’t lock up when you leave, they will find all your snacks you leave lying around and feast. Side note: The male’s blue balls would make me so happy.

For the big day we had made this trip for, we explored the other side of the beach where very few hotels were open. The Leopard Beach Resort has a very scenic beach front although very much abandoned. We spend some time around, walking and soaking in the sun, then head back before the tide traps us on this side. It’s less windy today, so lying on the sunbeds is a delight. Given the frequent windy conditions though, I rank Watamu higher than Diani in as far as Kenyan beaches go.

Diani Beach Sunrise
Diani Beach outside African Oasis Restaurant

At this beach, you also bump into a lot of beach boys trying to sell you everything from day excursions, to shells, madafu and roast fish. They are very salesy. Shaking them off is very difficult, especially when they use the corona clause to defend their case on why you should support their venture. So you’ll definitely end up buying some things from them to support them brothers. Oh, they all call me Ras. It is the life I chose. 

The highlight of the night is dinner at Ali Barbour’s Cave Restaurant. These guys offer a complimentary shuttle to and from the restaurant if you are staying along Diani Beach Road. And they are very good with the time. We had booked via their website, but for some reason I had to call them to ensure they picked us up when time came. Somehow they had no record of my request for the shuttle on email. That aside, the driver’s prompt service and the welcome at the restaurant make that all go away. 

The guy who welcomes us is draped in Maasai regalia. Hehe. So touristy. He directs us to wash our hands with soap and water just outside. Usual drill. Then he points us to the lit stairwell that leads to the underground cave. So cool! The guy at the bar welcomes us and a waiter leads us to our table on the other end of the restaurant. Time to take it all in like a bewildered child. I will try to describe it as best as possible. 

Ali Barbour’s is a classy restaurant that could easily turn into just another scary dark cave if it were not for the beautiful yellow lights strategically placed around the cave’s nooks and the candles on every table. All the tables are occupied; given social distancing, they are not that many anyway. The food is not like super super awesome, but the ambience tricks your mind into thinking it’s very nice. Anyway, that’s what such restaurants do to your brain. 

  • Ali Barbour's Cave Restaurant
  • Ali Barbour's Cave Restaurant
  • Ali Barbour's Cave Restaurant

Being in such a setting also makes me want to have talks that I might not have elsewhere, because it forces you to concentrate on each other and listen, as opposed to being on your phone. I end up saying things I didn’t think I would, like I am dating all over again. And asking questions like “What has surprised you most about me after being in this for a year?” 🤣 In the end, we have to leave some drinks and dessert unfinished, because, you guessed it: curfew time! Bummer. But overall, it is an experience I would want to relive again. 

We head back to Nairobi the next day. The day that my body decides I have had enough fun and it’s time to finally puke in public for the first time. In the cab. Fuuuuun. So you can imagine I am walking on eggshells the whole time after that such that I grab the two sickness bags in front of us on the plane back, just in case. I have them in my bag to date. 😭 Up here, they have everyone seated alone, except the couples or I guess those who booked together. 

No more incidents. We’re back home to thrive through life. And that was Diani.

Diary of a Bibi Mama: Second Trimester Edition

bloom blooming blossom blur

Yes. I coined a term for my new life. If you have been here long enough, you know I used to write about singlehood every month, with unashamed contentment. Then I stopped owning that vibe. As a result, we’re here with a completely new series. Somebody say hallelujah. 

This is a sequel to the last post. If you know, you know.


It is finally here. That trimester that every female you know has told you to wait for. The second trimester. The honeymoon phase. You were not sure whether to believe them or not because some Baby Center members have insisted that first trimester woes can go to the end of your pregnancy. That thought would keep you occupied during the first trimester, agonizing and praying that that does not become you. 

Thank the Lord Almighty that was not you. Except for the once-a-week recurrence of all-day-sickness. I mean, baby won’t let you off the hook that easily. Lazima akukumbushe bado ako area every 5 to 7 days. During those rare days of this honeymoon trimester, you just consider the day lost and rest, waiting for the next awesome day.

Your Strength and Everything Come Back

Yaaaaaassss! You are even the one asking to be cuddled now. Your energy for everything is back, even with the ever-growing bump. You love cooking, because you know you’re going to enjoy the results. You discover Cookpad and Tasty, save and make a lot of recipes there. Hubby loves this! You even cook and bake stuff you had never done before you were pregnant! And you will eat and enjoy the flavours. You just have to ease in slowly, because eating too late in the night gives you heartburn, which can very easily trigger puking. The saliva eventually dries up too. Yay!

You want to walk a lot now. You can walk into a restaurant and eat whatever you want without repercussions. You have so much faith in your body stability now that you are very excited about your approaching anniversary. And are pumped to travel. More on this soon.

Your Clothes No Longer Fit

Well, you are still insisting on wearing a lot of your normal clothes. Turns out a lot of the dresses are still very much wearable and comfortable. Normal pants are out of question now. The first maternity anything you purchase are those great maternity jeans at LC Waikiki. Very functional dressing this. 

For example… 😀

You take bumpies (for those unfamiliar, this is a bump selfie) a lot now, because you want to cherish these memories. Plus friends who might never see you this 2020 want to see. The car seat belt kinda bothers you for some reason, so you place a heavy shawl on your belly. Oh, and you hate speed bumps.

Your Baby Flutters!!

Your doctor calls it quickening. You begin to feel the movements around 17 weeks. You get so excited. You want to feel baby all the time. Because she is still small, you can’t really call them kicks at this point. 

You lie down quietly during your 20 week ultrasound and wait for the man to count those bones. He literally counts the baby’s bones one by one. This is the point they look out for any anomalies. Doctor had even suggested amniocentesis, an invasive procedure that checks if the baby has other developmental abnormalities like Down Syndrome. But you and hubby don’t see the point, honestly. The baby is yours and you are going to love him and do the best for the little bundle of joy together. So help you God. 

At this point, you can choose to know the gender. You choose not to know. You’re all about that surprise at the end. Sorry, gender reveal peoples. 😀 However, the names are already sorted. Somehow that was very easy to arrive at because you started talking about it way before you were even a man and wife.

Your Normal Brain Functions Are Back Too

You can work. You can draw up plans. You are yourself during calls. You can still very much mask the fact that you are pregnant, thanks to the lockdown and remote meetings. Eventually you will have to report your situation, so you don’t disappear on people in a few months.

You have a short nesting period where you are thinking about baby clothes and bassinets and moving to somewhere else. And you had better do it soon before another lockdown is brought upon you. Better safe than sorry. Thankfully, the lockdown does not happen. And so you find items that are as neutral as possible. Even your mothers revisit their crocheting and knitting from back in the day, now that they are also stuck at home with not much to do with the new normal. They make baby the cutest little sweaters, pants, booties and shawls. Perhaps you should also think of relearning how to do it? 🤔


All in all, there are days you even forget you are pregnant. But those are very rare. Because you remember you are when you try to lie on your back or tummy at night. 🤣 You have always been a tummy sleeper. This side thing, well… You will just have to get used to it before it becomes a side sleep+ pillows to prop you up in a few weeks. When you groan at the very thought of getting up or turning.

You are almost there! Bring it on, third trimester! 

Your Emotions in the First Trimester

I promised to cover an entire post on the feelings and thoughts during the first trimester. I am hoping this helps a girl who inevitably finds herself here in the near future. You are not alone. 

The interesting thing about the beginning of this journey is how you thought you knew what you were getting into. You prayed for this and looked forward to being a mother. But somehow, the brain gets a bit confused when your answer arrives. The brain and all its hormones. 

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10 Ways Your Body Will Surprise You in the First Trimester

First Trimester Surprise

It starts slowly. Gently. One moment, you’re not 100% sure you are pregnant even though you took a test that displayed two lines pretty instantaneously. You even go to the doctor’s just for a second opinion. He does no test. He is sure you are, based on your LMP and general cycle history. Oh yeah, you will learn a lot of acronyms during the journey. For the purposes of this story, we will focus on just bodily changes — not the mind, not the feelings — just the body. The rest of the first trimester manenos deserve their own story. 

Also, how does Shiku suddenly know these things? I guess we will find out soon enough, won’t we? 😉

Here we go.

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30 at 30

January is over! Haiya. Anyway, in the spirit of keeping tabs and dropping a few nuggets every time I ascend into another year of my life — from the third floor, here are thirty things I learnt or validated from my 30th year.

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My Year in Music (2019)

Who does a music-in-2019 post in 2020? 

Us those.

2019 has come and gone with a lot of changes and moments. When the year started, someone came over here and shouted that he still misses when I used to introduce him to new jams. Say no more…

99% of my time listening to music is spent on Apple Music nowadays. The other 1% is divided between YouTube and Pearl Radio.

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About Addis

Tembea Kenya. Tembea kwa jirani. Tembea Addis.

There are many things you don’t get to learn about a place until you hit the ground running, literally. You don’t realize how big a neighbouring country is or how little you know about it beyond the textbook.

Initially, we were to head to Zambia. But that’s the other thing about learning about a place. You can learn a lot about it by just paying it a little more attention than usual. Turns out the airfare to that place is out of this world. It is like flying to Bahamas or something. And it is just down here. There went my dream of visiting Livingstone and bathing in the showers of the Victoria Falls.

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Lovely London

First of all, I know their ancestors were our colonizers but I love a lot of British things. The accent. The history. The series that come from that place: Sherlock. Merlin. The Bodyguard. The Crown (the reason I subscribed to Netflix). Arsenal at a certain teenage point in my life. A lot of things. Bernard’s Watch. Bless This House. I can still hear the theme song in my head as I type this. Like I said, a lot of things.

So I will not say I was not super pumped to step on that soil earlier this year.

Sasa the only problem was the weather. You step out of the airport and it finally hits you how cold it is. I have never been that cold in my life. And don’t forget the heat that we have been having until recently around here. At least the weather is changing polepole. I am telling you I had not worn a sweater for months this 2019 apart from that moment in London. And I am the girl that is teased for always being in sweaters by some people I will not mention. Brace yourselves my Naija brothers and sisters. The. Sweaters. Are. Back.

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Joburg in a Jiffy

Joburg - Nelson Mandela Square

I have stared at this white space for a minute now.

A lot can go through your mind when you have a lot to do. And when several new things are happening in your life.

Like when you get into a flight and find familiar food, because it’s KQ and you’re at home in the air. And you can now be easy on them for always delaying flights.

When you land and people clap, because you left the scorching Nairobi sun (which is actually not scorching for a lot of non-Kenyans) and descended into the currently thunderstorm-y Joburg.

ET302. Peace and rest. 🙏

And when you get out and finally understand why they call us the rest of Africa.

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29 at 29

As I enter my 30th year, a few somethings from 2018:

You may start the year with all the resolutions in the world (even when you’ve never been a resolutions kind of person), but the year may shock you in both good and bad ways by giving you its own resolutions for you. How you embrace those surprises is up to you.

You will say no so many times that, when you finally say yes, you’ll learn that the saying no helped your saying yes get easier.

Sometimes. No, who am I kidding. A lot of times, your boss will drive you crazy. You will want to quit 1000 times. But a lot of times, you’re probably at fault too. Because you want to think people read minds, even  when you know they don’t. And you want other people to change, and not you. And you will hang on to past hurt to no real gain. Then you’ll get all the wiser and realize, no matter how much someone else wants to help you, if you don’t want to help yourself, you might as well shut it and drown in your pool of self-pity. Which will lead you nowhere. So, better alternative, get up and show what you got. Because no-one else is going to do that for you. Continue reading

An Alpine Affair

After getting lost in Madrid, I came back to my comfort zone for a week then headed out the next Saturday to Marseille. I was very anxious about this trip to France because it was going to be loooooong. When I say long, I mean very long. Why? Because cheap is expensive. As a newbie, I am not an expert at looking at the best flights with the shortest layovers, neither was my friend. Plus we let these flight booking sites trick us with their cookies. So much so that we later discovered that people who booked different flights months after, all got even cheaper rates and better flights. SMH. So it’s not even a matter of cheapness, it’s inexperience.

Anywho, the day came and I got relieved a bit. Etihad Airways is a cool airline with female and male cabin crew that sport very striking lipstick and perfect hair cuts respectively. And it was my first time on such a large plane. I sat next to this American girl who was quite chatty at the beginning, with some braids on her blonde hair. LOL. Total hippie. Plus since we booked these flights via Alitalia originally, I could not book seats in advance so I ended up next to the lavatories. LOL. So you keep hearing that loud vacuum flushing all the time. I can’t seem to remember what I watched during this leg. I think it was The 15:17 to Paris. I had to Google the title now. I was not sleepy yet, the best was yet to come. I got to Abu Dhabi at some minutes to 9. A few minutes into walking into the terminal, I met up with this other Kenyan who had an even longer layover, but we lost each other at the security check.

Abu Dhabi International Airport is a real swanky airport. They have poured a lot of their abundant money into making it the airport of choice for layovers. I was going to spend 6 hours here, so I decided to find the best seats in the terminal of my next flight. If I was sleepy, these would have been very helpful. I was not. Yet. I grabbed something to eat and chat up my people. I am not exactly sure what I did for the rest of the six hours. What I remember is too much a/c and people running across the terminal to their flights. I finally moved down to my gate about an hour to my flight. I was obviously starting to get real tired, so I did not like the next flight much. But hold that thought.

Abu Dhabi International Airport - Waiting Area

Real nice, right?

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Madrid Maze

It’s been a while since I wrote. I guess I keep saying that. But oh well, here we are again.

Anyway, this post is going to be about Spain. A week ago, I was in Madrid (Or rather, when I started writing this post it was a week ago). And that was fun. Let’s list the fun stuff.

The first thing that hit me when we landed in Madrid (after the air conditioning) was the heat. And then how normal it seemed. I am sorry but I am one of those people who have always thought the West is this amazing place that has another kind of look and feel that is nowhere near Africa. Like maybe it is full of the bright HD computer generated scenery we see on TV. For starters, the air was the same air. And I was still the same person. LOL. Ushamba nayo?

Madrid was haaaat. Super hot. 40 degrees hot when I checked. Our flight there was not my favourite in my short experience flying. EgyptAir. The only thing I really loved from that was the layover in Cairo, not because it was a superb airport or anything but because the view of Cairo from above the amazing. It’s like they live in these many organized box-like estates that look like symmetrical cuboids from above.

Cairo Bird's View

When you land in Madrid and get to customs, they don’t even ask many stories. Passport, stamp, welcome. Everything was planned out for us by our lovely colleague when we got there. The driver could speak English. He drove like a Kenyan though, going way faster than the speed limit signs. We got to Santo Domingo at about 5 on Sunday. The apartment was lovely! Definitely straight out of what I see on TV and what I want mine to look like. All I wanted to do was sleep. The last time I had slept was Saturday morning at 8AM. Everyone else went out. Yeah, I am the not-fun one. LOL. So I don’t really have much to say about that day. Oh, apart from the fact that when I woke up to have dinner at around 10pm, the sun was just setting. Continue reading

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