- Here we go again.
- Every time I think about this post, I postpone it for whatever weird reason.
Sometimes I am just tired. Sometimes I just feel indifferent about a lot of things. Other times, it’s having too many things going on in my brain. Mummy brain.
- I have started reading more. A lot more.
I think that will definitely kickstart my way back to writing as much as I used to in my twenties.
- You know we hit 30 and a lot of other stuff hits us and we no longer have time to do all those things we could do back then.
And then it hits you that Rihanna is just slightly about two years older than you, and a lot of famous people out there are just slightly older than me or way younger. Uzee!!!!
Marriage & home
- Postponing until the best time. What exactly is this best time?
Do it now. Be it that dietary thing you need to drop or that one shot you need to shoot or that big purchase you keep postponing but know you can do it. Do. It. Now.
- 2025 reminds you that you are actually way older than you had thought you were.
40 is beckoning. When you bump into distantly familiar people and you think they are way older than you are, then it hits you that you are the one refusing to accept your age.
- Cutting costs still continues.
Keep your eyes open to things that actually cut costs realistically. If it’s frequenting Think Twice, so be it. Invest your money. Forget you have it so you feel like you don’t have it — to instill discipline. You will thank yourself later.
- And remember to get rid of everything you don’t need.
It’s quite liberating. Check all those boxes in your store and cabinets. Throw out that old pan. The dress you wore last before you bore your firstborn. The one that you wore once and is still new. Give it to someone else. You will all be happy. And you will actually welcome better things. Let go.
- Date nights rock.
Again, don’t feel guilty about leaving the children for a few hours to just do you. Whether it’s taking a walk or sitting at a simple nyama choma joint just the two of you. It is no longer 2018 when it was just you and him against the world. Relive those moments every once in a while. Yes, you will have those moments later when the kids are older, but is that assured? Live for the here and now.
- Snap those pics together. You need to keep that fire burning.
When you look at your pics and they are all about your babies (including your firstborn’s multiple selfies) and not him anymore, you need to reconsider your choices.
- Go away when nobody else is going. Trust me.
It is quite the experience wading in swimming pools and walking around an entire hotel alone. Don’t wait till everything is crowded and expensive.
Motherhood (Pre-school season)
- The innocence of children. Memories.
Sometimes you will look at your children playing or fighting and you will feel all soft inside. Because you know you have a lot to do with how they understand the world ahead of them and you also remember a bit of when you were their age and everything was novel and exciting. And how much your folks determined what you ended up knowing is right and wrong. Kazi kwako.
- Schools. Sigh. Different strokes.
One might like school from the getgo. The other might “reject” school every morning but goes anyway. It’s just his call for attention. And he get the baptism-by-cold/flu literally on the second day of school.
- The other side to this school thing is every school will have that one thing you don’t like.
You will shop for schools a lot. You might even consider taking them kids across counties, just because everything around is not your goal. Even though it suits another parent and child just fine. And that’s okay. Different strokes.
- Don’t parent them exactly the way you were raised. Or the way you wished you were raised.
Take them on a bus ride for fun, because they probably have never been on one before. But remember that you don’t have to raise them exactly the way you were… You don’t have to invent hardship. They don’t have to walk to school a kilometre away because you did. Or have everything they ask for because you didn’t. Balance.
- Break any undesirable patterns you have unknowingly ingrained in them during these high energy years.
If they know screentime is at a certain time like clockwork, introduce something else that reminds them that holding their tablet every night is not a requirement. Routine is nice, even in such a case when they actually don’t ask for the screens at any other time because they know access is limited and at an exact moment, but even then, guard their cognitive and social abilities. So they know that no means no. And yes means yes. “Maybe” is also fine. Because then they know that something they do can tip it to either side. Gives them power of choice.
- Golden. LOL. Enjoy their most favourite thing with them because it will pass very soon.
Whether it’s screaming Golden at the top of your lungs, playing the same same animated song on YouTube everyday 10 times, going to a certain play area because it’s the best thing they know so far. Do it. The season will pass and you will miss it.
- Make sure your idea of fun aligns with theirs.
And it’s foolproof. Especially if it was their idea in the first place. Otherwise you will end up scaring them. Like having a birthday picnic and having a baboon join you. 🫠 But let’s be honest, nothing is foolproof in parenting. Just do what you can.
- Mother tongue isn’t hard.
It’s not that hard to teach them their mother tongue if you are intentional. Start small. Do it when they are this tiny. You will be surprised that they can sing entire songs in their mother tongue. SImply because they intently listen when you sing them at church or at family gatherings. And that’s when it hits you that all they need is repetition.
Work & craft
- 2025 also jolts you out of the employment cocoon.
The one you always take yourself back to when you know very well you can build out your own thing.
- It may take long. It may require a lot of dropping stuff you were used to before.
But it is the right track. You know it. You are taking that leap.
- With that said, I am plugging my new venture here.
If you or someone you know is looking for one woman to scale their thought leadership or marketing affordably this year, you know where to go. I am that woman.
- Speak out.
You keep watching people who found you in a space owning it and becoming the people who people go to for advice. Meanwhile, you can’t blame them because you always hide behind the scenes. Not anymore.
- Do your best. You never know who is watching.
At the very least, you will be at peace knowing you did your best. Bonus: You will get the job you didn’t know you wanted. Or the client. Or the husband or wife. Or anything you are shooting for really…
- Build solid systems.
Just don’t do stuff for instant results. Don’t just work for that end month salary. Build something that will keep giving. Keep moving, but in the right direction.
- Charge properly and stop negotiating with unseriousness.
People will ghost you over proposals. Don’t give up. The serious people will come when you are serious and know your business.
- AI.
It’s helping you plan your projects. Clean up your drafts. Run multiple projects. Automate. But it will not replace your smarts. Garbage In. Garbage Out. Nor will it declutter your space or reach out to people for you. Jitume.
Inner life & community
- Ruminating.
Try as much as possible to get rid of this trait. It should have been this way or that. I shouldn’t have done that. Why are they ghosting me? NO. Get up and find out. Learn the lessons and be intentional about not repeating whatever it is that led you here. Move on.
- How Women Rise.
Interesting book. The biggest lessons – habits to drop – are actually all over this post. 28 being one. Overvaluing expertise being another (instead of being confident and not shying away from recognition). Minimizing your contribution being another one (No, it wasn’t me. It wasn’t my team.) Kwanza this one you know you will forever fight. But you also know you can still credit your team while highlighting your leadership. Break these habits holding you back.
- Nifunze kunyamaza.
You don’t always have to speak, by the way. Train yourself to let other people finish talking. Read the room. But don’t hide, when your voice is needed.
- Stick with the community.
When you are appointed to something you didn’t want to be, step up. This is not the time to stay indoors and just be about you. This is the time to give back. To be with others when they mourn and when they celebrate. To build and not to run away from problems.
Recommendations
- Peep the Spotify earworm list from last year. It was quite the dynamic one.
This is a great documentary highlighting the McMillan Memorial Library and its offshoots, and the work two passionate ladies have put into it. You are so inspired by it that the very next day, you walk into the historic library for the first time and become a member. The books are super old and dusty, but they are part of the reason you are reading daily again.
side note: Unseen Nairobi (the cinema/bar/restaurant) serves a mean sandwich!!!
This is the picture you have of your future home. Old architecture. Vast, tree-filled, well-manicured green backyard. Sloping into a valley with a stream. Anyway, a great place for a family day out. Play area. Nice food. They recently opened a heated swimming pool too.
This one is another architectural and landscaping beauty. Countryside luxury, they say. Looks like a great place for a staycation. But also a great spot for lunch. Scrumptious food. The play area here is free, but they have introduced a voucher system where you pay first before you venture in. Probably to ward off idlers.
Best waffle you have ever had in your life. Thanks ChatGPT for the pointer. This is a recommendation within a recommendation btw. If you have not been asking them AI chats what are the latest happening spots, this is your call to do it.
Welcome Back
Asante!
It is always a delight when you pop up in my email. 😀 (Old timey emoticon to remind us of “the good, old days.”)
Yoh! 36! What are these knees?
😀 Girl!! Cue the backache. 😂