Well, for starters we would not be here, you and me. I’d probably be in a publishing house somewhere editing manuscripts because my job description would not even exist. Or perhaps married with two kids with a few more on the way.

Also, I’d be risking my life in another way other than walking along a very busy road while typing this. You on the other hand, would not be reading this. You’d probably be in front of the television tending to your couch potato ways. Alternatively you’d be planning a day out with real people. A day in the movies with your significant other because there would be nothing like The Pirate Bay or Free TV online etc.

Without the Web, I’d have no clue on what American artistes sing in half their songs, let alone rap along. I’d still be writing lyrics in exercise books (lol) and cutting out lyrics from the Sunday Nation. I’d probably have a pen-pal on the papers too, remember those?

Yes, I still keep them. 😀

I used to think it was so amazing to write to another person in another part of the world! Similarly these bunch of envelopes would not be here right now because I’d have written you all letters on flowered writing pads with flowery words and figures of speech. Then some of you would write back having sprayed the letter with some strange cologne and with some ‘dedz’ at the foot of the foolscap.

If you want envelopes, you know who to call.

Without the Web, I would obviously read more physical books as opposed to hundreds of webpages that most of the time tell me the same things in a different way. Just between you and me, we have read a dozen web articles on the same topic. How successful people start their day. 100 signs you are an introvert. And we still click on because the title is catchy then end up realizing we just got duped. Thus the birth of the term bounce rate, you know, how fast you close that tab after realizing the whole article is nothing like what the title promised.

Without the Web, I’d still keep a journal to record my daily shenanigans. I’d still be waiting for the day someone would accept to publish my random musings. Oh, I’d probably have collecting stamps as a hobby.

Without the Web, I’d never have met my first love. There, I said it. Back in the day, before Facebook was pretty on mobile (try remember how ugly that thing was on mobile), there were other mobile websites where we chat anonymously using cartoon avatars and weird pseudonyms. We called them WAP sites. It was unbelievable to me that I could access the Web on mobile so you can imagine how enthusiastic I was. I got into trouble enough times with my mum. I hang out on two, Bluepulse and Cellufun. (If you click on the Bluepulse link, it is dead. Cellufun still exists but it is mostly for games I think. That is how much the Web has evolved.) I met him on the former. That is a story for another day if I get consent to write about it.

Without the Web, my circle of people would be totally different from what it is now.The Web has brought me together with a bunch of folk. Other folk I’d never even imagined talking to in real life are now buds because Facebook and Twitter bridged the gap.

Without the Web, gatekeepers and broadcasters would still be duping us into believing their content was original. Comedians too. Now all we have to do is Google or even stumble upon videos on YouTube way before Larry Madowo ever lands them. We know the news before the newspaper is out the next day. On my end, I read the physical newspaper just for the ads mostly. Also, we get to stop a show from airing just from making noise on Twitter. How is that for power to the people!

Without the Web, I’d still be calling radio stations to request for songs. (Double lol) Request for songs that are getting to us years later after people in the West grew tired of them. The same for series. Series would still be aired on TV by the way, RoboCop and Early Edition style. You all made them stop because you get the episodes immediately they are aired abroad. Don’t complain when NTV and company air soaps. That is the only target audience that actually watches them religiously.

What else have I left out? Also, where would you be without the Web?