She was minding her own business. The last thing on her mind that Friday was a man. In fact, she just wanted to get to her bedsitter and lock herself in and just wallow in the bliss of aloneness. No one would get in the way of her plans. In fact, she had just bought herself the entire season three of Once Upon a Time, just to binge-watch. The producers of that show must be a couple of geniuses to have thought of bringing fairy tales into a palatable format for grownup girls who were still waiting for Prince Charming. That is all she needed. To watch that palpable chemistry between Hook and Emma and wish she was in Emma’s place. She still had that bad boy syndrome going on. But she kept it under wraps for her own good; and any bad boy out there. Continue reading

Who goes ahead and asks me out regardless of how bleak the chance that I will say yes is.Who is not afraid to be mad at me if I am wrong. Truth be told, I am wrong a lot. I just need to be kept in line.

Who makes me laugh. I blame my dad for making me think that one quality a man should have is humour; Phil Dunphy too.

Photo credit (Tumblr.com)

Who says sorry when he’s wrong. I will say sorry when I am wrong too.

Who makes me feel worthy. I know I am already but, trust me, girls thrive on positive feedback.

Who does not see me as another girl to have ‘fun’ with then dump. I am not saying you should be thinking of marrying me. No. Don’t start something if you see no future.

Who appreciates our differences. We will always be different, different but complementary. 🙂

Who appreciates that I’ll never be that perfect non-existent woman of his dreams. I already know you will never be Prince Charming from the fairy tales. But you will be my Prince Charming.

Who loves me as Jesus loves me. I know that is too much to ask. Chances are, I’ll also love you conditionally. But we can try to take some notes from He who loved us before we even knew about it.

Who acts like it. You’re a man, not a boy. Man up! Act like you know!

Maybe I am too young to talk about men but I believe I have seen enough to give my two cents.

When I was young, I was told, as is popular Kikuyu custom, that a boy becomes a man when he is circumcised. Then I used to ask myself, even as that little girl, whether it made sense because there many other people who circumcise babies who are a few days old. Anyway, let me not define who a man is and go straight to what I have studied.

First of all, no one should label this post a description of himself (I am always amazed at how fast someone will think I wrote a post because of him. Of course there is always a catalyst but trust me, it is not you. Moving on…), I am just stating years’ worth of research.

I ceased trying to understand men a while back, when mum told me something scary and I really wondered why she did. I will not deny that a man can make your day; he can also break it as fast. So far, these are the ten men I have encountered:

The Egomaniac – He will say he wants to work to get the approval of a girl but in the end, if I play hard to get, he will give up too soon. Either that or he will try so hard until he will eventually hate me if I do not become his.

The Optimist – On the brighter side, this one will still be my friend but something will always be off.

The Avenger – This one will be patient enough until I will eventually say yes. He plays along with this newfound success then ensures he leaves when it looks like it will hurt, like some sort of payback for putting him through the whole endurance test.

The Experimenter – Then there is the rare occasion where I like him in an instant then it turns out he was trying the whole thing out and when he finds that it is reciprocal, he gives some excuse like he is not ready for commitment or something to that effect.

The Hunted – Yet another scenario may play out where I notice him first then he discovers my covert interests and tries to see what he can get out of it. When it is not forthcoming, he hits the road.

The Sympathy Seeker – This one will come with a story about how a friend of mine did some disrespectful things to him. Here I am supposed to act all sympathetic and act as the backup plan. No thank you.

The Play-it-safe man – He tried once, he failed. He goes under for months, years even then he comes back with the tale of how he is still waiting on me. I always figure he tried elsewhere and it backfired on him.

Mr. Moneybags – He thinks that simply because he has money, there is no way a girl can say no to him. Get over yourself.

Prince Charming – He is everything, almost. He is so sweet that I am always wondering whether he is human. How do I intentionally get on your nerves and you still keep your cool?

The One – He will be described one day because I do not know who he is yet.

All these men make life entertaining but I am a bit selfish. When I sense something will go terribly wrong, I bail before anything serious develops. Someone even told me that I will end up alone if I never give room to those small heartbreaks.

So maybe one day, I may take my chances and seek for an eleventh man, the one who waits for a girl to initiate the game. I wonder if he exists. Plus I consider it totally taboo to approach a man. Taboo aside, I will tell him how much I think we would work and go ahead to work for his affection.

That will be the day it will snow in Nairobi.