I am seated in my room, in the dark listening to Group 1 Crew’s “Going Down” on repeat. The night’s young, 12.28 am is as young as it gets. The day was average. It was cold and wet. I am getting used it now. I have not written in a while which means I am out of my element. Or maybe I am just busy. Busy with a project that seems to never end. I have a month, give or take, to be done with it. The joy of it all is that I am certain that it will be over by then.

I may not have a clue on how I will make a simple thesaurus turn into the complex one that my supervisor wants but I am more than sure I will figure out a way. Half the code I have written right now, I could not have a few weeks ago. Let’s just say I am operating on pure faith; faith that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Once in a while, you might see me tweet my disappointments. When it gets too much, I claim I want to quit school. Yeah right. How in the world would I quit school when I have two months to go? I have always loved school but sometimes it makes me sick. I remember back then when I had to go back to high school after a holiday, I would literally change in demeanour. I could even come down with a headache. Murphy ’s Law would knock on my door. I’d suddenly remember all the holiday homework I’d not completed, fret over the CAT that would molest me the next week and a bunch of silly little things that would not bother an average student.

Looking back I have been through tougher situations. Back then, I didn’t have Google to ask everything (and somehow I think I was sharper than I am now). I did not even have the freedom to do what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it. What am I saying?

Days will come when I am feeling terribly low (you too). I will feel like I cannot make it. I could even consider letting someone else code my thesaurus for me (a lot of students do that anyway). I could just stall and say I don’t even need to know how to code irrelevant stuff for me to make it in the industry. I could tell myself so many things but the project will not be completed by anyone else but Shiku.

That is why I say the night is young. I have the breath and the health to sit here and get some data structures into my head. I have all the time to bond with eclipse, together we can code a version 1.0 of Shiku’s Thesaurus. What else could I possibly want to do with my time in campus? I walked in here with my dad, mum, brother and cousin on 3rd August 2009 and they sure didn’t bring me here to quit in the middle.

And like Paul I will finally say “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” (2 Timothy 4:7) I admit that Paul was going through way more challenging issues than I am right now, but if I cannot be faithful in the little that I encounter, how then will I be faithful in more?

This way, I will be in line for greater responsibilities out there. Yes, I said it, out there. I am fearless. (Oh yeah, I decided that “Fearless” on the same Group 1 Crew album should be on repeat now. How apt?) And as always, I will end with my Jesus’ timeless words in KJV “For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more.”

(And just like that, I am in my element.:-D)
Written by Shiku Ngigi

Mum and dad’s daughter. Shouting big sister. Learning to listen. Jesus freak. Recovering tomboy. Mouse potato. Bass addict. Waking up the writer in her.

    2 Comments

  1. allan May 9, 2013 at 12:18 pm Reply

    In deed ive read this and it has made me come back to my senses. nothing comes easy and if it does then it will vanish easily and here I begin my chapter two of the project.it will be done by no one but ALLAN.

    • shikungigi May 9, 2013 at 12:23 pm Reply

      Glad I inspired a fellow senior at this time 🙂

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