Sometimes, you meet someone who makes you smile. But because you have a list, you just can’t let him keep making you smile. You want another who will make you smile and meet all the items in the list.
Not long ago, there lived a girl who made a friend. This friend made her laugh so often, listened to her silly little woes and jokes and gave her the best company she could have asked for.
Then one day, the inevitable happened, he told her that he liked her. Deep within her, she knew he did, but played dumb the whole time. She wanted to believe that the friendship would go on forever with nothing like that ever cropping up. She did not want to let the man down; he had been so good to her. She also did not want to go into a relationship out of gratitude.
She was growing old and was still alone. She believed in her list so much. Here was a guy who was willing to be so much to her. On the other hand, she did not know if she could be all he wanted.
Indeed, she liked him but she did not want to give him false hope. So she told him that it could not work. And they did not talk ever again.
Months passed on and as usual, she met another man. Somehow, she always found an interested party immediately the other walked away. And just like the other, she knew in her heart this one would walk away too once he realized she did not really want a relationship with him.
She did not know what to do. Was she supposed to turn a deaf ear to any man who chat her up? Was she too friendly? Did she intentionally lead men on then hang them out to dry?
She once believed in platonic relationships. She also knew that having certain expectations was not wrong; you have to know what you want to get it. The list was important. She just had to remember that one person could not possibly possess all the qualities in the list. Indeed, half the items in that list, she did not possess herself.
So one day, she sat down and made a new list, a realistic and flexible list. She was not sure if men kept lists too but if they did, she was going to be eligible for one of theirs too.
The next time a suitor came knocking, she was ready. Of course she did not say yes to the first one just because he asked. The gist of the list was so that she could not settle for close enough.
He walked into her life soon after. He was not everything but he was honestly striving to be. And if you are waiting for the ‘happily ever after’ line, it did not happen. This is not a fairy tale. Relationships are meant to have their share of ups and downs, seasoned with deliberate efforts to be better persons for the sake of both of you.
She was content. Her wait paid off. Her list too.
Maybe you have a list too. Maybe you don’t. List or not, at least you have an idea of what you want. Don’t settle for less.
There is nothing wrong with a list. Be a realist. Insist on the best by being the best too.