By Alice Adalla
Valentine’s Day is here again. It’s ‘the season of love’, and for those of us who are single, it may just mean another Valentine’s alone. To some of us, the day is a cruel reminder of how lonely we are, and we wish that by some form of magic, we would be ferried to wonderland like the little Alice and come back when it is all over. But now, that won’t happen, right? We are just going to have to live through it. But how do we live, not only through this Valentine’s, but for the rest of our lives as singles and even beyond. This is my resolution this Valentine’s as a single lady.
One, I choose not to feel incomplete, because I know that I do not need the opposite sex to be complete. I understand God’s mathematics, not that 0.5+0.5=1, but that 1+1=1. I understand that when He says, Therefore, shall man leave his mother and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall be one flesh (Genesis 2:24), He did not mean that half a man and neither did he mean half a woman, but a complete man and a complete woman. Complete in Him and in Him alone. I have found my identity in God and not in man and so I am complete in God so that when the complete me and the complete him meet, we shall be one and complete in God. So I will not be anxious, rather I will be glad for I know who I am. I am single and yet complete.
Two, I have resolved that I will maintain purity, not just until I get into a relationship, but even in marriage. I understand that God has said that my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and that I was bought at a price (2 Corinthians 6:16, 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 and 1 Corinthians 7:23). So in view of God’s mercy, in view of His amazing display of love on the cross, I will remain pure. (Romans 12:1-2)
I will not have sex with anyone till I am married and even when I am married I will only have sex with my husband. This is my conviction and I will hold on to it even when I am the only one not having sex. I will remain a virgin as long as I am single, even when it seems so stupid and even when time seems to be running out. I will not yield to pressure for I know who I am.
I have also understood that it is not enough just to be a virgin in the physical. I move a step further. I will be emotionally pure. I will remember the advice that Paul gave to Timothy concerning how he was to relate with others. He said, 1 Timothy 5: 1-2, Rebuke not an elder, but treat him as a father and younger men as brethren; the elder woman as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity. I will personalize this and I will relate to the young men in my life as my brothers. I will not flirt or get emotionally entangled with a person of the opposite sex just to quench my thirst desires for attention or to feel like I am still on top of the game. I know flirting is teasing, it’s like dangling a banana at a monkey, and I would not want to be teased. Nobody likes to be teased so I will not tease another person, especially not in ways that compromise my position in Christ, because I value this above all. So I will not specialize in my friendship, but I pursue genuine and pure friendships loving all with a pure heart, a clean conscience and a sincere faith.
That’s my resolution this Valentine’s. I will not give any man the privileges that only my husband, and yes I mean only my husband, should enjoy. I will reserve them only for him. I will not promise myself to anyone until I have made commitments to them.
Happy Valentine’s Day to you.
Alice Adalla is as passionate as she sounds in whatever she sets her heart to do. A great friend since our days as freshmen back in Moi Univeristy, all I can say is: What she said. 🙂