Let People Be


By Nyanjui Ndung’u

One can say that gents and ladies are wired differently and some argue that one gender is better than the other. My take is purely on what perspective you bring into play as the genders seem to complement one another e.g. ladies tend to be more emotional about stuff whereas guys seem to be all macho and most have a tear limit theory that withdraws tears from a duct that is only filled once an year so the tears only flow when stakes are high. Okay, onion cutting is an exception but hey maybe that is the reason most guys avoid this because they would be indebted to the tear gods. I digress but oh well, I guess that is common for both genders to just take the ball and run with it every now and then.

As H_art the band say in their song “Uliza kiatu” which is Swahili for “ask my shoes”, the only piece of attire that knows where one has been is the shoe so forget about that pair of jeans you have been recycling for a week or the scarf that has been wrapped around your neck for God knows when…your shoes are the real deal. In lieu of this, I cannot speak about how ladies are wired, not that I do not have an inkling, but more because I am not a lady and thus my opinion would probably be stereotypical and based on the rumors I have heard. Turn the tables over and start talking about guys and I jump out of nowhere to defend my fellow chiefs, even if I was not part of the conversation, every guy takes an oath to defend fellow guys in the most respectful of ways and this should never change come what may.

Looking around my room, I can see organized chaos which some may say is a symbol of disorder but I am sure that if you ask me to give you my wallet, I can walk in this room even with the lights off and come back with it. The beauty of this organized chaos is that I created it to suit my needs, I am not saying that you will find dirty laundry strewn on the floors or an unmade bed even though I have had situations whereby those have happened for one reason or another, I am indicating that I am the king of this jungle until further notice as we all know what happens when another party comes into play. I do not  take offense in someone helping me make it neater or up to their standard of neat, but please if anyone was to organize anything in here, kindly leave a note saying where everything is. I think the phobia begun when I was younger as I had the best sisters who would always help with organizing spaces, but I remember looking for that one lucky pair of shoes that transformed me from Eric to Raul Gonzalez when I played soccer in the hood and not finding them only to learn after having the worst game that they had been washed and put on the roof to dry! See if anyone had told me of this, I would have asked for more time before I hit the field and not tarnished my street cred thanks to the unlucky shoes I had to wear but oh well, I guess what I am saying here is that the disorganized chaos I live in makes it easier for me to do stuff but I am always up for hints as to how to make it better if at all my bar of organization is so low that it happens to trip you as you walk into the door.

Most guys think that they are stronger than they actually are PERIOD! My cousin and I used to work out together and there was this guy at the gym who we just called ‘Mr. Arch Your Back’ as he used to put on so much weight on the bench press that he would literally concave up his back to complete the sets. I am not sure his back will be that much grateful down the road but he was literally making us look like wimps. I remember one day I walked into the gym and you know who was already killing the weights as usual and I thought to myself that I may as well go start with another exercise as lifting next to him was always humbling. But I remembered I was from Africa where high school taught us to always fight for a spot at the canteen if you wanted to eat half loaf so I walked up and set my bench press next to him. About 2 seconds later, I looked at him and his face was as red as a tomato as he could barely lift the bar to the prongs on the support. I rushed to help him out and almost tore my shoulder as I experienced firsthand what Atlas feels as he holds the world on his shoulders and I began thinking to myself why the hell Arch Your Back would do that to himself and make both of us look bad. Long story short, every homo sapien who calls himself a guy/man will always think that they are stronger than they actually are, let them be! Do not even ask questions as life always places a literal cross on them that lets them know their boundaries and last time I checked, you are not life so let it take its due course.

Men will be men and some will love their sports more than most things in life and that should be totally okay. I, for one, are an avid sports fan and can watch most sports that involve balls maybe because I am anatomically predisposed but that is just who I am. Is it a problem? NO! I have countless instances when people will ask to meet up and I have to double check whether the New England Patriots are playing at the said time-frame and if they are, whether the location has a TV and if not, politely decline. The way I think about it, is that everyone needs their bubble where they are the shot callers on how that time is spent and for most guys that is sports. Granted there are some circumstances that can eschew from this norm but in most cases I ask my Lord to keep away from those situations and so far, He has met me at my point of need ☺ (do not judge what I pray for! At least I am honest about it…) I have had of situations whereby a friend, let us call so and so Doe, has had a feud with a significant other because one chose to watch the Super Bowl instead of observing the usual Sunday night dinner and in most cases the culprit is the guy. I am not taking sides but each calendar year has at least 48 Sundays and you mean to tell me that a 47/48 Sunday night dinner attendance rate is not good enough? Let us think of a 47/48 record in everything we did…if you had this score in any class you would definitely get an A if not an A+, if your bank had this interest on savings you would be literally putting all your paychecks into the savings account and singing your way to the bank, if you company gave that bonus every year you would never quit and would forever be known as that person who is always fed up with their job but always comes back. I guess the point I am trying to make here is that everyone deserves a break in life, at least that one thing they can call their own and if that is sports, God bless their soul and let them be.

I know by the time you are getting to this paragraph you are probably thinking what is the moral of this story, there is none…just kidding. The point is that people will be different no matter how you want to mold them and that maybe in part due to their gender or just the way they are wired and brought up. The best approach is to just accept them as they are and move on with life and only give idea changes in situations you would also take the same change if you were in your shoes.

Nyanjui likes to say he does not like to leave footprints on the web. I guess it is safe to say he has no problem doing that now. He has a blog in the works after all! Also, he’s my very good friend. 😉

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