30 at 30


January is over! Haiya. Anyway, in the spirit of keeping tabs and dropping a few nuggets every time I ascend into another year of my life — from the third floor, here are thirty things I learnt or validated from my 30th year.

A brand new chapter will begin in your life. You are going to be contrarian as you have always been destined to be. You are going to finally get out of your comfort zone and see what happens when you do what you want to do, sans society expectations. A lot of things.

You’re going to be bothered by very tiny things, as usual. They will eat at your head, rationalizing, even when many other great worthy things are happening around you. And it will keep happening. Because that is life. But when you finally get over them, you will understand why they had to happen. For you to be able to tell someone else about them and be able to help them move past their own experience.

You will meet many new awesome people who will become family. You will understand how intricate family can be and what it means to be a family. To be family as an adult, which is completely different from being family as a child. As a child, you don’t choose your family, but as an adult you get to choose. Choose wisely.

People will talk. Or will they? You will keep agonizing about what you think they will talk about. And in the end, even when they do, they will still stop and move on like nothing happened. Move on.

When you’re looking forward to something, it seems to be very far away, timewise. Hapo ndipo utajua hujui. So plan as much as you can, then leave the rest to flow. And when it comes, you will enjoy the fruits without much pressure.

You have heard this before. A wedding is just an event. A HUGE one where we come from. You will mull over the small things even when you tell yourself not to. You will and you did. It is what it is.

Friends and family will come through in amazing ways, even without you asking for anything. They make life so worthwhile in the end. That is what life is all about, being there for each other.

You will look at the concept of “setting a good example” with new eyes. Just don’t let it burden you. It’s the circle of life.

Marriage is beautiful. Two people are finally together to build each other and build something in the process. To have and to hold. To learn. To understand. To love. To annoy. To care. It also brings a lot of people together. And no, I don’t mean a wedding. I mean marriage. 

Pre-marital counselling IS helpful. Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise. 

Two are definitely better than one. And warmer.

Opposites attract. And they sharpen each other to illustrate how one’s inadequacy is quenched by the other’s expertise.

One day an answer you’ve been looking for for years will be right there, in front of you. And you are the only one with the key to that answer. 

You will cry many times. Mostly from happiness. 

Anger is a decision. Just like happiness. You choose what annoys you and what doesn’t. Again, choose wisely. 

You have avoided checkups for years. Then you go for one and are told you have something that is very possibly a misdiagnosis, but somehow, the medication heals you of some other things and brings some other stranger things along. Your body can sometimes be a stranger to you. You learn to take care of it in new ways.

You’re never too old to learn new tricks. You will sharpen the art and almost love cooking. With the proper motivation, almost anything is possible. Including stepping away from what your culture dictates to try new things. Kenyan food is not boring. We just need to play a lot more with the ingredients.

You will discover great content that helps you do different kinds of tasks easily. Like trying out Kaluhi’s recipes and discovering that they actually work, filters aside. It’s about commitment to the cause. 

You will find more targeted reads. Books about startups, women… You will become and you will be unbowed. Slowly but surely, you will get your reading fervour back, including reading the Bible and really digging deeper than just reading to say you read it all. Like I said, two are better than one. 

When you are about to give up the search for anything — a house, an answer, a job — you will wander off the beaten path, and you will find it. 

You will gain like 2-3 kilos. Yay! And somewhere towards the end, try to be vegan for like an hour. LOL. Because Netflix told you something game changing. Although not really game changing because, come on, Daniel did it millennia ago. But the vegan seed is planted and will likely germinate into something one of these days. 

Whenever you get the chance, tembea. Travel to both near and far places. You will see and learn a lot. 

You will still ask yourself why you do what you do. No one said you have to stick to one path simply because it is comfortable. Simply because you have learnt your trade, doesn’t mean you can’t jump off and start from scratch. It is scary, no doubt. It is even unthinkable to an outsider looking in. But you will do it. You will start from scratch. 

If you think you’re not being heard, shout harder. If that does not work, do something else. Just don’t do the same thing you have been doing.

Keep breaking those rules you set for yourself and those around you. In the long run, some of them are just silly and add to those unimportant things that make you mad. Like honestly, there are better things to do with your life and brainpower.

Remember social media is just that, social media. You learnt that years ago. Enjoy the entertainment but live it there, in that space. Live and let live. Because that’s what you’ll cherish for many years to come. Not what is trending on TikTok. Lol.

Yeah, you’re still old. Even though this would offend an actual old person. Also, 30 is just that. A number. No huge difference from, say, 29. Just the digits and days.

Yes, not everything is black and white. That is very much clear.

In the new chapter, you’re going to miss the people you worked with for many years. They are still fam. Remember what we said about family. No bridges burned. No need for a BBI here. 🙂 Just moving on to different playing fields. 

Run the race.

11 thoughts on “30 at 30

  1. I like how your thoughts flow easily.Enjoy marriage life.Then motherhood instincts shot up as soon as u mentioned adding a few kilos. Awesome!

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