By Kizzy B

We all want to be married or marry someone who totally understands us, cares and loves us for who we are and not for who we are not. But in most cases that is not how it is. In this time and age, many young people run away from relationships. The thought of settling down is far beyond their thoughts for reasons best known to themselves . I shouldn’t judge! We are all entitled to our thinking and whatever decisions we make today are for our own good, even God respects our decisions. As I grow older, life tends to open itself to me. I get to see life from a bigger lens and appreciate what it has to offer.

As you have noticed, I’m a girl with an open mind; a pure mind. I tend to look at life differently, unlike how many view it. Let’s talk about relationships for now. I bet even as I type this, there is someone somewhere who believes I’m that “naive girl” or something close to that which I don’t really mind. What people think of me is the least of my worries!

Anyway the main idea is to share my views on relationships. I know I am not an expert, but it’s good to I lay out my opinions. Whenever I share my views about dating and the like, people tend to think I’m immature. They say I have no idea what I am talking about. Some would even say that Cinderella and Snow White have totally corrupted my mind and I should snap back to reality. 🙁 To some extent I used to feel I was the strangest person in the world, but then I thought that there are so many people in the world. There has to be someone who shares the same school of thought (when it comes to relationships). That is the person who feels bizarre and flawed in the same way as I do.

To love someone is madness. To be loved by someone is a gift. Loving someone who loves you is a duty, but to be loved by someone you love is life.

To have someone love you for who you are is the greatest gift one could get. As you progress in life it reaches a point in life when we need someone to run to, irrespective of the world being either cold or hot. we all need someone to cuddle with, play with but because of our foolishness we never get to progress when it comes to family. Majority of us let go of our soul mates without realizing it. To be single is good and at the same time it’s not that okay.

At times we would want someone to shoulder us or even just hold us so close, but at times we are not ready to let anyone in. You know! You would relate right. As Shiku talked about “the boys”, most girls have their so called boys, but what happens when you fall in love with one of them? What would you do? Would you run and never look back or would you suck it up and tell him how you feel? Have you ever gotten to a point in your life when you ask the other person, “What are we? What am I to you? *story for some other day.

Anyhu’ Why do people date for fun?

Falling in love is a natural thing. You don’t have to convince me to be in a relationship, the relationship should convince me to be in it and stay there.
One thing I believe in is love. {Hebrews 11:1}.

As I said, I’m a girl who thinks differently, a girl who believes in love and not in lust. I’m that type of girl who irrespective of the world being grey , I always see the blue sky. That doesn’t mean that my opinions are not worthy. If your heart was once broken by someone, that doesn’t give you the right to close doors and corrupt people’s ideas with your silly ideologies on how relationships and marriages are overrated. Can I get an AMEN?

My overall view of relationships and marriage is this:

• Each  one  of  us  is  entitled  to  be  loved,  to  be  spoiled  and the  like.
• It’s  the  little  things  in  life  that you  do  that  matter  and  not necessarily the  big  things .
• Forget about tomorrow, live for today.  Today was yesterday’s tomorrow while, today will be tomorrow’s past.  Embrace today.  What you do today will become tomorrow’s memories.
• We  all  have  had our  hearts broken, but that  doesn’t mean  that  we  should  build  walls  and  say  that  love  is  overrated. Most times, when  you  look  around  you,  you  will  realize   that  your  soul mate  is  right next  to  you.
• That boy or girl that you ignore might be your greatest treasure. Adore them.
• If  you  find  that  special  person  who makes you smile  when  you  are  really  messed  up, never  let  them  go .  There is no ideal age for   marriage. What really  matters is  your maturity and  how  much  you  understand  what  you  really  want  in  your  life.

All in  all,  relationships  aren’t  meant  to  be  of  convenience. Learn  to  relate  with  someone  not  because  your are  lonely  but  because  you  need  them  in  your  life. Relationships are meant  to  be  WIN-WIN  situations.

A good friend  once  said, “God will not point the right marriage mate for me. He is too smart for that. If He did and it did not work I would blame Him for that so He has entrusted that responsibility completely to me, to choose my mate. He does help me though. He has given me a brain, with five billion cells, His Holy Spirit to guide me, His living Word to regulate my decisions, My Pastors to give me wise counsel, parents who gave me sense and His own anointing on me to discern spirits. Resources that I will not ignore. So that I manifest His glory in my relationship with the marriage partner I end up with.” –   For the men  who  fear to  take   that  leap  of  faith.

To the ladies: Someone said, “Never spread your legs for a man who can’t provide for you, protect you and profess. Aii mtu asikuletee dryspell zake, DONGE? Have you heard the saying, “if her legs open quicker than the Google home page, he will just use and leave her””

So that’s basically it.  I’m free spirited.  I’m  the  kind  of  person  who  believes that  chickens  have  the  right  to  cross  the  road  without  them  being  questioned.   Thus  when  it  comes  to  relationships,  we  all  have  a  platform  to  air  our  opinions

As I pen off, keep this in mind. Do not rush into marriage, you will be there all your lifetime. Take your time, think soberly and prayerfully then make an informed and God-supported decision. Remember, you make a wrong move it may haunt you for the rest of your life, kwa hivyo come slowly“.

©K

Kizzy is one passionate sister as you can tell. She expresses herself over at THE GIRL NAMED KIZZY, always passing along the lessons she gains in life. I was going to do my monthly preacher post but she has done it sufficiently. I will wait for you, future hubby, ever more realistically with advice like this here. 🙂

‘Hi dear. Can you guest post on my blog. Love story?’

All those butterflies asleep in my stomach are definitely up now. I am in class, someone is saying something at the front but all I can hear are screams in my head. The little Shikus in there are ecstatic! Someone finally invited them over to their blog! Yayy!

Ok, calm down little Shikus. Did you read what he requested? He specifically wants a love story? Please don’t laugh; we can do something about it, right?

You do not have to be in love to write about love. Heck, how sure are you that I am not in love? In fact, how sure am I that I am not in love? I have been in love for the longest time. Relax, I am not going to lead you down a mushy path then finally declare that I am in love with Jesus Christ (although that is true). No, I am in love with a human being; a male human being.

I have known him for a while now. I have hung out with him enough times. I hate all his jokes. I hate that he does not shave his beard. I hate that he has never told me he loves me, although I know he does. I love him so much that I cannot tell him I do, because that will spoil everything for us.

I love him because we never agree on anything. He will say that the earth rotates on its own axis and I will point out that his sentence is grammatically wrong. I will tell him something sweet and he will trash it, because he knows that is what I want. There’s a certain thrill in a man that challenges my wit. It means he is bright enough to do it. The day we agree on anything, there will be something off, either with him or with me. Or it will simply be a matter of urgency that we agree (for the earth to continue rotating around that axis it is used to).

I love him because he is modest. The problem is that there is a very thin line between modesty and shyness. He will never tell me he loves me because of that. And I will never tell him I love him because I know he knows.

I know I love him because I cannot look him straight in the eye for more than two seconds. I will feel this weird urge to smile (I’d say blush, but I have never understood why an African girl would come out in the open and claim she blushed. Seriously, our skin is designed to specifically never turn red.) Then a thousand other thoughts will come rushing in. Why am I not his girlfriend? Why can’t I just let him be my knight in shining armour?

And a couple of seconds later, in that moment of turning away, the little Shikus tell me why I am not his girlfriend; why I will not let him be the one. I love him. I love him too much to burden him with the Shiku that I become once I am declared his. Here’s the thing. If you choose me, you’d better be ready to be mine and mine alone. Be ready to be there when I need a shoulder to cry on. If you are not, then we are done. I will probably hate you after that.

I am contented with our secret love. He is my secret love and I am his.

Before I knew it, I had written an entire piece which is not your average love story. Maybe it is true, after all; you have to be normal to think up a love story. Now you know why I quit soap operas a long time ago. There has got to be more than that boy-meets-girl scenario. If love is so special, my love story has to be special too. I will let you know if my secret love metamorphoses into a secret marriage with little, chubby, secret kids.

(OK, you are probably wondering why this was posted here. Let’s just say I felt it going to waste wherever it was posted. Also, I don’t think I will guest blog any time soon again. Thank you Mr. Experience.)